


Mi Salvador de Antiva

by Kleineganz



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blindfolds, Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, Caning, Corporal Punishment, Detox, First Kiss, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Kissing, Light Bondage, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Public Beating, Whipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-09 04:13:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4333449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kleineganz/pseuds/Kleineganz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alistair was betrayed by his best friend, the so-called Hero of Ferelden, and found himself exiled from his homeland. Years later Zevran finds him nearly drop-dead drunk at the Hanged Man in Kirkwall, and he decides to intervene to help his old friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Painful Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> I apparently can't help myself and I keep coming up with new story ideas before I finish a previous story. This was came screaming into my head last week and my muse could not be denied. Don't worry, I won't forget my other stories! :)
> 
> I’m playing fast and loose with the timeline for this story. In the game drunken Alistair appears in Act II, and the encounter with Zevran happens in Act III. I’m moving Zevran’s timeline back in order for this to make sense. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art by the amazing DorianPavus http://dorianpavus.deviantart.com/

Zevran strode confidently through Kirkwall’s Lowtown district. Once again he’d thwarted the Crows who were still after him. This time he had the help of none other than the infamous Hawke and his old friend Isabela. Nuncio and his crew now lay dead on a beach.

Before leaving the shithole that is Kirkwall, Zevran decided he needed a drink to celebrate and headed towards the one tavern he’d heard the most about, the Hanged Man.

As he entered the establishment, the first thing he heard was an oddly familiar voice, shouting drunkenly. “I am the Prince of Ferelden, I’m telling you!”

Some woman laughed. “He keeps saying that, the poor sod.”

“That’s because it’s true!” the drunken man slurred.

“Alistair?!” Zevran said in shock, looking at the pitiable drunk before him. “Alistair, what are you doing in Kirkwall?” Zevran felt his heart clench in sorrow and sympathy for his old friend. They had spent months traveling together with the so-called _Hero of Ferelden_ , trying to help him stop the Fifth Blight. The memory of the Hero’s betrayal of Alistair during the Landsmeet still burned hotly in Zevran’s memory.

“Prince Alistair to you, elf!” he shouted drunkenly. “I’m here to get drunk, what’s it look like?”

“Oh my poor dear Alistair. Are you OK?” Zevran asked.

“No, not OK. Worse than OK. Disgraced traitor, that’s what I am!” Alistair slurred.

“Oh, no, no, no. You are no traitor my friend. I can attest to that,” Zevran said, sitting down next to his old friend.

For the first time Alistair took a closer look at the elf and finally a flicker of recognition crossed his dazed features. “Zev?! Zevran Aranai? You’re here to kill me aren’t you? Who hired you this time? Anora? I bet it was that Ferelden bitch wasn’t it?”

“No, my friend. I am not here to kill you,” Zevran said sincerely. “I didn’t even know you were in Kirkwall until just now. Tell me Alistair, why are you in such a state? The last I saw of you was when Anora and her _betrothed_ exiled you from Ferelden.”

“That bastard. He had no right! I was Maric’s son. Cailen’s brother…after all we went through to save Ferelden from the Blight. He had no right…” Alistair broke down in loud sobs.

Zevran saw that he wasn’t going to get his celebratory drink tonight. Alistair needed help, badly. “Come my friend, you need my help, yes? Do you have a room here, or a place to stay?”

“I have a little hovel here in Lowtown, why?” Alistair asked suspiciously.

“Then I will take you home,” Zevran said plainly.

“No! I said I’m here to get drunk! Barkeep! Where’s my ale?” Alistair shouted.

“Alistair, you are already very drunk. It’s time you went home. You need help, yes?” Zevran told him.

Alistair yawned, and then hiccupped loudly. “Well, alright. I suppose I could do with a nap…”

Alistair tried to stand, but wobbled unsteadily. Zevran quickly put an arm around him to steady him and slung Alistair’s arm around his shoulder. “Come, show me this hovel you call home.”

Alistair tried to guide Zevran to where he lived, but they went around in circles a few times before Alistair remembered which grim, grey hovel was his. Once inside the tiny dwelling, Zevran moved Alistair to his small, unmade bed and looked around for a source of water and a bucket. What Alistair needed, even more than sleep, was to get the alcohol out of his system. The process wouldn’t be pleasant for either of them, but Zevran had seen much worse.

Zevran found what he needed, filling a cup with water and setting it on the small table next to the bed and bringing over the bucket he found stashed in a dark corner of the dwelling. He sprinkled some herbs he’d taken from the pack he carried and mixed them into the cup of water. Helping Alistair sit up, he bid his old friend drink down the bitter mixture.

“Blech…what is this? Poison? I knew it…you are trying to assass…assassinate m…” Alistair was cut off when he suddenly lurched forward and violently purged his stomach into the bucket. As Zevran suspected, it was all liquid. Alistair clearly hadn’t eaten any food recently. Once Alistair was done, Zevran gave him a cup of clear water to drink while he disposed of the foul contents of the bucket.

Zevran made Alistair go through the purge process twice more before allowing the man to lie down and rest. Alistair passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow, and Zevran took the opportunity to strip the man of his boots, breeches and overly fancy shirt, leaving him in just his smallclothes. He then tucked the warrior under his blankets and let the man sleep.

Zevran then quickly made his way towards the small market near Alistair’s hovel, and purchased some simple foods, mostly bread with some cheese, meat and fruit. Alistair was still passed out when he returned and Zevran spent the rest of the day wiping his friend’s brow with a cool cloth, just watching over him.

He hadn’t planned to stay long in Kirkwall, having another contract he needed to complete, but he couldn’t just leave Alistair here like this. He had long wondered what had happened to him, after being exiled. Once Zevran’s obligation to the “Hero” had been completed, he quickly left his side and even spent a few months looking for Alistair. However the Crows soon caught up to him and he was on the run again and couldn’t spare the time to look for his former Warden friend.

If truth be told, Zevran had developed quite the crush on Alistair when they had travelled together. However, it was clear Alistair had no interest in him or men in general. He’d tried to put his feelings behind him when it was clear Alistair wasn’t interested, but there was still that pang of regret. As he watched Alistair sleep, he could still see that young, handsome, naïve face he had known, despite Alistair’s now hollowed-out cheeks and the dark circles under his eyes. Zevran sighed and tried to remember happier times.

***

Hours later, Alistair woke up, blinking slowly. This wasn’t the first time he woke up back at home with no memory of how he’d gotten there. This was the first time he woke up, almost naked and neatly tucked under his blankets.

Then all of a sudden there was a person next to him, wiping his brow with a cool cloth. “How do you feel, my friend?”

“Wha…? Who?” Alistair started, nearly jumping out of his bed, before his eyes focused and saw the elf standing over him. The elf with those oh-so-familiar tattoos swirling along the left side of his face.

“Zevran?! What are you doing here? And why am I half-naked? Wait…did you follow me all the way to Kirkwall to try and seduce me again?” Alistair blurted.

“I found you at the Hanged Man, raving about being the Prince of Ferelden,” Zevran explained. “You were quite drunk so I brought you home and helped purge some of the alcohol from your system. Now I would like you to try and eat something. You are hungry, yes?”

“Oh alright. I suppose I am a bit hungry. Is there any cheese?” Alistair asked hopefully.

Zevran chuckled. “Yes, my dear Alistair, there is cheese.”

Zevran made Alistair a sandwich with cheese and meat and handed it to him.

As Alistair ate he regarded the elf. He hadn’t changed much since he’d last seen him in Denerim. Still the slight, muscular build, and sun-bronzed skin. His blonde hair was longer, but he still wore the sides braided back. And of course those very distinctive tattoos.

“So, want to go back to the Hanged Man with me later and grab some drinks? We could catch up,” Alistair offered.

Zevran shook his head. “No, my friend. You do not need more alcohol. I am determined to get you well again. The next few weeks will be painful for you, but you need to stop drinking. It’s not good for you, yes?”

“Hey, who appointed you my guardian? I’m a grown man, if I want to drink, then damnit, I’m going to drink!” Alistair said angrily. Zevran had expected as much and was prepared to fight the man if necessary to subdue him.

“You were once a mighty warrior, a Grey Warden, and former Templar,” Zevran reminded him. “You still have many years left and they shouldn’t be spent in drunken misery. Please Alistair, let me help you.”

“Why do you care? You once tried to kill me, and then you abandoned me,” Alistair snapped.

That was unexpected. “Abandoned you? How did I abandon you, my friend?”

“You…you…let _him_ exile me!” Alistair wailed, tears brimming.

“I was in no position to argue with him about it, and I was still obliged to his service until the entire Blight problem was resolved,” Zevran explained. “Would it surprise you to know that I went in search of you after the Battle of Denerim?”

“You did? Why?” Alistair asked.

“Because, my friend, I cared about you, and I worried for you after your exile. I wasn’t able to stop it and I wasn’t able to go with you, but I wanted to make sure you were alright,” Zevran explained. “Clearly, you weren’t, were you?”

“You _cared_ about me? Even after I kept pushing you away?” Alistair said incredulously. “Why?”

“You were a good man Alistair. Strong and brave…and very handsome. I will not deny that I wanted to warm your tent back then,” Zevran confessed, a slight blush crossing his cheeks. “Above all, you were always there for all of us. In every fight you took the brunt of the attack, and you saved my life on numerous occasions. You were selfless and loyal. I owe you much, my friend, and I wish to repay my debt.”

“You don’t owe me anything. I was just doing what I thought was right, at the time,” Alistair sighed. “I’ll never be that man you remember Zevran. You should just leave me to wallow in my misery.”

“No. I cannot, and I will not. I finally found you after all these years and I will see to it you are made whole again. This I swear.” Zevran said emphatically.

“Why do you even care, now? All that stuff was so long ago,” Alistair said quietly.

“ _Mi querido_ , does it even matter why?” Zevran said softly. “I care because I do, and I wish to help you. Please, Alistair.”

“Why…did you just say that? The Antivan bit? What does that mean?” Alistair asked.

Zevran blushed, not realizing he’d said the term of endearment. “My apologies Alistair, I forget myself. It is nothing. Forget that I said it.”

“What does it mean though?” Alistair pressed.

Zevran sighed, his blush deepening. “It translates roughly as ‘ _my dear_ ,’ or ‘ _my darling_.’”

“Oh,” Alistair replied, when his eyes suddenly opened wide in understanding. “OH!”

“Do not fear Alistair, I have no intention of pressing you for affection. I merely wish to be your friend, to help you through this and help you become a strong, healthy warrior once again,” Zevran reassured him. “Will you allow me this?”

Alistair sighed. “You’re not going to let me keep wallowing in my misery, are you?”

“No, I cannot do this. You need help,” Zevran replied, slowly smiling. “However, I promise I will make sure you always have cheese.”

“Alright, deal. As long as you never forget the cheese,” Alistair chuckled.


	2. A Painful Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zevran stays with Alistair as the alcohol withdrawal hits the former-almost-Templar hard.

Several hours after Alistair woke, his withdrawal symptoms began to kick in, hard. It began with cravings and a cold sweat, and then he began shaking uncontrollably. Zevran recognized the symptoms at once, having seen several Crows go through similar withdrawals in his day.

Alistair was sobbing and shaking. “Zev, please! I need a drink. Just one! Please!” Alistair begged, as he struggled with the elf preventing him from dressing and heading over to the tavern.

“No, Alistair. You must remain strong. I know this part will be difficult, but you must endure it, if you are to get this out of your system,” Zevran stood firm. In his current condition, Alistair was no match for the wiry elf.

Soon Alistair’s system was purging itself all on its own, without the help of Zevran’s herbs. Zevran remained at his side, talking him through it with soothing words. Once the first round of purging ended, Zevran made sure Alistair drank as much water as he could hold down.

In-between purges, Alistair kept trying to get up and go to the Hanged Man for a drink. He even shoved Zevran hard against a wall in anger and frustration when the elf refused to let him leave. Thankfully Alistair’s weakened state made it easy for Zevran to subdue him, forcing the man to remain restrained to his bed. The elf only let him up when another round of purging was imminent.

This went on, worsening for the next 2 days. Alistair could barely keep water down for very long and so that’s all Zevran gave him. Finally Alistair got past the point of purging anything in his stomach. Once he was able to keep water down, Zevran also got him to consume some thin broth.

***

After letting Alistair up to relieve himself of the copious amounts of water, and now broth, Zevran kept forcing him to drink, the elf was once again tying his wrists and ankles to the bed, still not trusting the man to just bolt and run to the Hanged Man as soon as he turned his back.

Alistair watched Zevran deftly retying the knots, with a slight smirk. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you enjoy keeping me tied up,” he said hoarsely, his voice raw after two days of regular purges.

“Ah, yes my friend. I’ve fantasized about you tied up and at my mercy for years. However, I did not envision it accompanied with shaking and purging, however,” Zevran said with a wink.

“Fair enough,” Alistair croaked, settling himself back down on the bed.

“It is a good sign that you are getting some of your sense of humor back, my dear Alistair,” Zevran said, smiling. “However, I know from experience you are not quite out of the woods yet. Another reason for your restraints is in case you suffer from hallucinations.”

“Maker, hallucinations too?” Alistair frowned. “The Darkspawn driven nightmares I still have are bad enough.”

“ _Si_ , my friend. I have helped several others through this process and they almost always suffer from hallucinations,” Zevran explained. “Keeping you restrained until you are past those is for both of our benefit.”

“How long do you think all this may take?” Alistair moaned.

“If you are lucky, perhaps a couple of weeks,” Zevran said thoughtfully. “If you are unlucky, a few months.”

“A few _months_?!” Alistair groaned. “Maker that would be awful. I hope my Grey Warden stamina kicks in and keeps it to a couple of weeks.”

“I too am hopeful for that, my friend,” Zevran said. “Once you are feeling better, how would you like to travel to Rivain with me?”

“Why Rivain?” Alistair asked.

“I have a contract to fulfill. I am working for a group of rogue Magisters in Tevinter who are seeking to end the slave trade there,” Zevran explained. “They will pay me good coin to remove the head of one of the largest slave traders in Rivain.”

“So you’re targeting slavers instead of Grey Wardens these days?” Alistair joked weakly.

Zevran just nodded. “Get some rest Alistair. You will need it. You aren’t through the worst of this yet, I think.”

Alistair sighed and closed his eyes and was soon snoring softly. Zevran liked the quiet moments like this, when Alistair looked so peaceful in sleep. A part of him still longed to hold Alistair in his arms, to show him pleasures he had never known. Zevran was resigned to having only a friendship with Alistair. It would have to be enough.

Yet despite his resignation, Alistair managed to manifest himself in Zevran’s dreams, like a glorious golden god of passion. In his dreams, he and Alistair knew every inch of each other, and Zevran awoke each morning embarrassingly hard, and had to steal a few minutes away from Alistair in order to take care of the problem.

After each time, Zevran swore to himself this must end, but his dreams kept plaguing him.

***

Alistair didn’t tell Zevran but he had noticed Zevran’s difficulties in the mornings and he was embarrassed that he felt his own stirrings whenever Zevran went off to take care of his _problem_. Alistair had an idea how Zevran was taking care of it, but it was not something he had much experience in.

Alistair had once touched himself when he hit puberty, but a Chantry sister caught him and he was made an example of, publicly whipped in front of all his classmates for the offense. He never dared touch himself again, no matter how much his traitorous appendage seemed to need it. Instead he learned to bring the appendage to heel through sheer mental discipline.

It didn’t help that Alistair secretly did find Zevran attractive. He had for years, but was too afraid to admit it to anyone, even himself. He always tried to suppress and ignore his physical reactions to the elf, which thankfully was easier to do when Zevran remained fully clothed.

***

Zevran’s prediction that the worst was not yet over was proving to be true. A few hours later Alistair awoke, screaming. He wailed and shouted and tore at his bonds. Zevran quickly realized from Alistair’s shouts that Alistair thought he had been kidnapped by slavers. Alistair was having hallucinations based on their last conversation.

There seemed nothing Zevran could do to reassure or soothe Alistair, so instead he went along with the hallucination, pretending to be a slave master and ordering the poor hapless Alistair to silence, or face punishment. Zevran knew he wouldn’t even have to punish Alistair, his threats alone were enough to subdue him in his weakened state of mind.

It took several hours for Alistair to finally come back to his right mind again, and he thankfully didn’t remember anything. Zevran mopped his sweat soaked brow again and tried to get him to take more water and broth before asking him to settle down and get more rest. Zevran had seen bad withdrawals before and knew that this would not be the last hallucination he would have.

***

A week had passed and Alistair was finally starting to look better. He’d had several more hallucinations that wore both of them out, and Alistair mostly slept between each incident. Each hallucination was some terrifying to Alistair, either being caught by slavers, surrounded by Darkspawn, and even one where Alistair thought Zevran was a broodmother. Being restrained seemed to worsen the hallucinations, but Zevran did not dare let Alistair loose in that state.

Once the hallucinations were mostly passed, and Alistair was finally able to hold more solid food down, Zevran began to let him eat small amounts of dry bread.

Alistair whined at the sight of the bread. “You promised there would be cheese!”

Zevran chuckled. “There will be my friend, once your stomach is able to handle it. I promise I will let you have as much cheese as you desire.”

Alistair also wasn’t being restrained as much anymore. His cravings were still strong, but he promised to be good while Zevran was awake. Zevran still feared Alistair running off while he slept and he convinced the man to let himself be restrained whenever Zevran required sleep.

One afternoon Alistair was sitting and conversing with Zevran when he frowned. “I wish I could take a bath,” Alistair said, wrinkling his nose at his own odor.

“I can help you with that, my friend, if you wish?” Zevran offered.

“How?” Alistair asked innocently.

“I have soap in my pack. I can fill the bucket with fresh water and use the cloth to clean you, will that be acceptable?” Zevran asked.

“I suppose,” Alistair sighed. “Not as good as a bath though.”

“When we travel to Rivain, I know a perfect little fresh water lagoon we can stop at, and we can both bathe, yes?” Zevran offered.

“How long until you think I can travel?” Alistair asked.

“If you continue to make progress as quickly as you have been, I think you should be fit enough to travel within another week,” Zevran said. “But first you must regain your strength, yes?”

Zevran then went to fill the bucket with water and helped Alistair sit up. He gently used the cloth to wet him down and then soaped the cloth and helped Alistair wash. He gently moved the cloth with the soap in circles over what were once impressive muscles. Alistair hadn’t lost all of his muscle definition, but he was much leaner than he had been during the Fifth Blight. Finally the elf smoothed a rinsed cloth over him to wipe away the soap.

Zevran fought his arousal from touching his friend this way, and he tried to focus on his task.

“That…feels nice,” Alistair said blushing. “Thank you, Zev.”

“It is no problem at all. Perhaps you can also help me when I am done? I can reach most everywhere, but I am still not limber enough to wash the entirety of my back,” Zevran asked.

“Yeah, sure, I can do that,” Alistair agreed.

Zevran then proceeded to remove the top half of his clothes and he heard Alistair’s breath hitch as his eyes traveled over his now naked torso, which made Zevran smirk. He then turned around to allow Alistair to wash his back. Alistair was very tentative about it, barely touching the cloth to the Antivan’s skin.

“My dear Alistair, you must rub a little _harder_ if you are to help me become clean,” Zevran admonished with a chuckle, noting the Alistair was now blushing a deep red. Zevran took that as a sign of recovery. The Alistair he knew had always been quite quick to blush.

“Oh, yes, sorry about that,” Alistair said, pressing the cloth a bit more firmly against Zevran’s back. “Like that?”

“Ah, yes, much better,” Zevran sighed. It felt good to feel the touch of another again. It had been too long, by Zevran’s estimation. “Thank you, my friend.”

That night Zevran’s dreams of Alistair were particularly erotic. _“Brasca!”_ Zevran swore under his breath when he once again awoke with an extremely hard erection, and he made his way into Alistair’s privy to deal with it, reimagining the vivid scenes from his dreams the night before.

***

Over the next week Alistair began to eat more, and Zevran finally allowed him to eat cheese and meat again with his bread, and also insisted on some fruit as well. If it had been left up to Alistair, he’d probably eat mostly cheese.

Alistair couldn’t deny that he still had very strong cravings for alcohol, and it was worse at night, especially if he awoke from a tainted nightmare, or let his thoughts stray to his memories of the Landsmeet and the betrayal from the man he thought was his best friend.

Having Zevran there to watch over him helped keep him in check and he would force himself to drink water instead. A part of him began to long for Zevran to just hold him through the worst of it, but he was terrified of his body’s reaction to such touch and he felt a burning shame anytime there was any stirring at all in his groin.

At least just having Zevran near was a source of comfort to the troubled man. He did feel a little guilty as he knew Zevran desired him, but the thought of anything beyond friendship terrified him, remembering his Chantry punishments anytime he displayed any mildly deviant behavior, fearing the wrath of the Maker.

Alistair had often wished he could be as cavalier about love and sex as Zevran seemed to be, but he knew they couldn’t have had more different upbringings. Zevran being raised in a whorehouse, and then purchased by the Crows at age 7.  Alistair was raised in a nobleman’s household, and then the Chantry and the Templar order. As debauched as young Zevran’s childhood was, Alistair’s was equally chaste.

***

Other than the near constant cravings, Alistair was feeling a lot better. Better than he had in years. By the end of the week Zevran deemed him fit enough to travel and they began to make preparations to leave Kirkwall. Alistair accompanied Zevran as they shopped for gear and supplies for their planned travels. Alistair would not be sorry to leave this shithole of a city. Denerim had been a veritable paradise in comparison.

As they made their way out of Kirkwall, Alistair felt as if his life was starting a new chapter, and he was going to try and make the most of what Zevran had given him. A second chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did do some research for this chapter, but I am also drawing upon personal experience. My mom was an alcoholic and I saw a full-blown hallucination first hand. It wasn't pretty.


	3. On the Road Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alistair and Zevran leave Kirkwall behind, together.

The weather was warm and sunny as they traveled along the main road from Kirkwall towards Wycome, where they planned to board a ship the rest of the way to Rivain. Zevran wanted to avoid having to cross into Antivan territory as much as possible, so they travelled along the coast through the Free Marches.

Not wanting to tire Alistair so soon after his ordeal, Zevran set an easy pace. They talked amiably as they walked, reminiscing about their old adventures together. Zevran was careful not to mention the _Hero of Ferelden_ as he knew how much of a sore subject that was with Alistair, and rightly so.

It was at the Landsmeet they meant to make their case to all the Arls and Teryns in Ferelden for Alistair to take his rightful place on the throne, despite his being the younger and bastard-born of their beloved King Maric. Alistair had never wanted the title, yet he reluctantly agreed because the alternative, allowing the daughter of the traitor Teryn Loghain to remain Queen, was a far more disagreeable option.

Then the unthinkable happened. The so-called Hero, Aedan Cousland, the last Grey Warden to be recruited in Ferelden, turned the tables on all of them. Instead of letting Alistair execute Loghain, he recruited the traitor as a Grey Warden. Aedan then announced his intention to wed Loghain’s daughter Anora, and proclaimed himself King of Ferelden. There had been protests, but as Aedan was noble born, and Anora consented, they were quickly put to rest.

The final treasonous act was to exile Alistair from Ferelden and from the order of the Grey Wardens, although he had momentarily toyed with the idea of executing his former friend outright. The wounds of those betrayals clearly had a deep and lasting impact on the exiled bastard prince and former Grey Warden.

***

Two days into their travels, they came upon the freshwater lagoon Zevran had told Alistair about back in Kirkwall. They chose to camp early and spend some time relaxing and bathing in the clear water. Zevran and Alistair had bathed together many times when they traveled together during the Fifth Blight, so Alistair wasn’t particularly concerned with stripping his clothing in front of Zevran. He did still have that silly habit of turning his back on the elf while he did so, which Zevran always found endearing.

It felt good to finally have a proper bath and clean the grime and sweat from their bodies. Alistair seemed in better spirits as well and Zevran took the opportunity to splash him playfully with water.

“Hey!” Alistair complained, laughing and splashing back.

Soon they were splashing and wrestling in the water, but in Alistair’s still weakened state, Zevran managed to get the upper-hand, pining the warrior’s hands behind him.

“Yield!” Alistair cried, still laughing. “I yield!”

Zevran was feeling a bit mischievous, and held fast. “Hmm. Now that I have you, what shall I do with you?”

Alistair tried to wriggle free from the elf’s grasp but he was outmatched. “Hey, Zev, come on. Let me go. Please?!”

Zevran noted a blush creep over Alistair’s pale skin, but decided not to tease the man further. He had made Alistair a promise after all, and so he let the taller man go.

“My apologies, my friend. I could not resist. You do still blush so beautifully,” Zevran said with a wink, before wading his way out of the lagoon and back towards their camp on the small beach.

***

Alistair stood and stared as Zevran made his way back to shore. Zevran had noticed his blush, but he hadn’t commented on it. Alistair was hopeful Zevran hadn’t seen the main reason for his blush, below the water’s surface. Alistair turned away from the beach, trying once again to will his traitorous appendage into compliance, still feeling the phantom lashes of the whip the Chantry sister laid upon his back so many years ago.

Alistair wasn’t sure exactly why Zevran was starting to have such a strong effect on him. He had found the elf attractive almost from day one, but he’d never lost complete control of his erections around him before. Perhaps it was partially because he was still in recovery. Maybe it was also partially because it was nice to have someone around again after spending the last several years mostly alone, crying into his ale every night.

Once Alistair had gotten himself under control he slowly made his way back to shore and put his smallclothes and breeches back on, feeling safer once certain parts of him were once again clothed.

Zevran was fully dressed again and picking up his bow and arrows, made mention of going off to hunt something for dinner as he headed off into the surrounding woods.

Alistair made himself busy by pitching their tents and making a fire.

Once that was done Alistair sat himself in front of the fire, and let his thoughts wander. Once again his thoughts drifted towards the elf. He was starting to feel affection for the Antivan, and that wasn’t surprising. Zevran had taken two weeks out of his life to help him get the alcohol out of his system. Zevran had put up with him being sick, and angry, and overwhelmingly sad. Alistair had been through hell the past couple of weeks and Zevran willingly let himself be dragged along for the ride.

After all that kindness, of course he’d feel affection for him. He was an old friend after all, despite the fact he hadn’t really considered Zevran a friend back in the _old days_ , at least not really. Sure they fought together and had each other’s back and Alistair eventually learned how to trust the former Crow assassin, despite the fact Zevran had originally been hired to kill him and Aedan.

However now, Alistair was definitely seeing Zevran as a true friend. One who had helped him get out of a bad situation. He was grateful. More than grateful.

Yet he felt very uncomfortable about some of the new stirrings he felt when he was around Zevran now. Stirrings he tamped down on, _hard_. It was against everything he was taught in the Chantry. Everything that they had nearly beaten into him… _or out of him_. Beside the incident where he was caught touching himself, Alistair had a vague recollection of also being caught with an erection in the boys’ bath at the Chantry, and being once again punished severely for a bodily reaction he had no control over. He’d learned very quickly to tamp down those reactions or fear the wrath of the Maker himself.

And yet…

***

Zevran wandered back towards camp, carrying several plump rabbits he would prepare for their dinner. As he entered the clearing by the beach, he stopped and watched Alistair, seemingly lost in thought by the crackling fire.

Alistair looked sad and wistful, and Zevran wished he knew what the former warrior was thinking about. He could ask him, but Alistair would probably make up some silly excuse and skirt the issue, instead of actually talking about what was going on in his head.

Zevran sighed and walked towards him with a big grin on his face. “We will feast well tonight, my friend. Look at the bounty I have brought!”

Alistair looked up and smiled, clearly struggling to remove the wistful look from his face. “Hey, rabbit! I like rabbit! Let me help clean them.”

They busied themselves cleaning and spitting the rabbits, before roasting them over the fire, the sunlight slowly dipping below the horizon. They ate in companionable silence.

Zevran looked at Alistair after a long while and decided to chance it. “So, what are you thinking about, my handsome friend?”

Alistair chuckled. “You won’t ever stop that, will you?”

“Stop what?” Zevran replied, his face all pure innocence.

“Flattering me,” Alistair replied. “I know you promised you’d stop trying to get into my pants, but you still can’t stop flirting, can you?”

“Ah yes that, I truly can’t help it. Flirtation comes second nature to me, my friend, especially around one as good-looking as yourself,” Zevran nodded. “I will make a greater effort not do so, if you wish.”

“Nah, it’s alright. I’ve gotten used to it. Far be it from me to cramp the great Zevran Aranai’s style,” Alistair laughed, slightly uneasily.

“Well in that case…” Zevran said with a lascivious smile, waggling his eye brows.

“Oh Maker, now I’ve created a monster!” Alistair dissolved into giggles, causing Zevran to laugh aloud.

Alistair took a deep breath and calmed himself. “No, but seriously…why do you find me worthy of your flattery? I know for a fact you don’t flirt with _everyone_. You certainly never flirted with Oghren or Sten.”

“Ah, my friend. You really don’t know how handsome you truly are, do you?” Zevran said honestly. “You may be a bit worn around the edges currently, but you are still a sight to behold, and back during the Fifth Blight, you were _magnífico_.”

Alistair blushed. “No, I wasn’t.”

“Why do you say this Alistair, when I know it not to be true?” Zevran asked.

Alistair sighed. “I was told daily how ugly I was by the Chantry sisters. I was big and lanky and awkward. They drilled it into me that I was lucky I was to become a Templar, since no girl in her right mind would ever look at me, or want me.”

Zevran frowned. “Well, my friend. I must inform you that those Chantry Sisters were very wrong. As long as I’ve known you, you have always been extremely attractive to my eyes, and I’m sure to the eyes of many a young maiden, and perhaps even a few young lads as well.”

“Thanks Zev, I wish I could believe that, I truly do,” Alistair sighed, stifling a yawn.

“Alright, my friend, believe as you wish,” Zevran let the matter drop. “I believe it is time for us to sleep, is it not?”

Alistair nodded and made his way over towards his tent. “Good night, Zevran.”

Zevran waved and under his breath said. “Good night, _mi querido_.”

***

The next morning Alistair awoke to the smell of…Maker’s Breath…coffee!

Alistair bolted out of his tent, wearing only his breeches and little else, as Zevran was pouring coffee into two cups. “Where in the world did you get coffee?”

“I procured some back in Kirkwall, before we left,” Zevran explained. “I do believe your constitution has sufficiently recovered that you may have a cup with me. I’m sure you’re probably sick of drinking just water, yes?”

“Maker, yes!” Alistair said, grasping for the offered cup and taking a greedy gulp. “Ow!! It’s still hot!”

“Well, yes. I just pulled it from the fire, my friend,” Zevran smirked. “You should have known this by the steam coming from the cup.”

***

Zevran and Alistair finish their breakfast at a leisurely pace before packing up camp and moving on.

Despite their leisurely pace they were making good time, and would be in Wycome within a week or so. They spent their days mostly walking in companionable silence, both out of habit and necessity, in order to not alert others of their passage. In the evenings they would converse and they both began to open up and share more about themselves to each other.

“Do you ever miss being part of the Crows?” Alistair asked one evening.

“No, not at all,” Zevran shook his head, turning serious. “Did I ever tell you how I became a Crow?”

“Not really, no.” Alistair said. “I heard snippets from what you would tell our dear ‘ _hero,_ ’ but I never listened to the whole story. I do remember you saying you were raised in a whorehouse?”

“Yes,” Zevran nodded. “My mother was forced into prostitution after the woodcutter she loved died tragically. My mother joined him giving birth to me. She was my first victim, as it were.”

“I was told my mother also died giving birth to me as well,” Alistair confessed. “I guess you and I started out life under similar circumstances.”

“Indeed. After I was born, the whores raised me along with all other Elven orphans,” Zevran continued. “I actually was taught some of my skills of seduction while I was with them. They finally sold me to the Crows when I was seven, for the price of three sovereigns.”

“You…were sold? As in a slave?” Alistair asked, horrified.

“In a manner of speaking, yes.” Zevran acknowledged. “That is how the Crows _recruit_. They purchase young children and train them. One other recruit, Taliesen, and I were the only two from eighteen purchased to survive our training.”

“Maker, I don’t even want to know what they put you through,” Alistair said with a shudder.

“Do not worry yourself. I was strong and I survived, that is what matters,” Zevran said with a shrug. “However, I’m sure you can see why I am not at all eager to return to their ranks, assuming they would even deign to take me back.”

“Yeah, I totally get it Zev. As long as you have me around, I won’t let them lay a hand on you,” Alistair said sternly.

“Are you appointing yourself as my bodyguard, my dear Alistair?” Zevran asked with a smile.

“I suppose I am. You saved my life back there in Kirkwall, the least I can do is return the favor,” Alistair smiled back. “I am getting stronger every day. I should be able to heft a sword again soon.”

“Then I will make sure you are outfitted appropriately in Wycome before we set out to Rivain, yes?” Zevran declared.

***

Alistair still had cravings. Some days were worse than others, but he often didn’t tell Zevran. It didn’t matter anyway, since there wasn’t a tavern anywhere close by where he could be tempted. The worst part of being sober, besides all those pesky memories, were the Darkspawn driven nightmares. A part of him was really beginning to regret becoming a Grey Warden, but he wasn’t sure he would have been much better off as a Templar either.

***

Over a week later they finally arrived in Wycome and Zevran procured them a room for a couple of days at a local inn. Zevran worried about putting Alistair within such close proximity to an establishment that served alcohol, but it couldn’t be helped. He would have to be vigilant in order to prevent all the progress his friend had made thus far.

As he and Alistair made their way through the pub, Zevran noted Alistair pale and was trembling slightly, clearly trying to hold back his reaction to being in a tavern again. Zevran tried to speed up the innkeeper and get their room key, so he and Alistair could go upstairs as quickly as possible.

Once upstairs, he settled Alistair into their room and ordered two plates of food to be delivered, along with fresh water and cups of buttermilk, which was a specialty of the house.

After their meal Zevran dragged Alistair to the Inn’s common bath, where they were assured there would be hot water. Indeed, the water was hot and plentiful, apparently being pumped from an underground hot spring.

They both sighed as they sank into the hot water, allowing their bodies to relax after their long trek.

“This feels wonderful. Even better than the lagoon,” Alistair sighed.

“Agreed, my friend,” Zevran acknowledged.

Now that they were relaxing, Zevran felt safe checking in on Alistair’s state-of-mind. “How are you feeling today, my dear Alistair? You have been rather quiet since we arrived. Have your cravings returned?”

Alistair frowned. “They never left Zevran. I just didn’t need to talk about them all the time because there was no tavern near us until now. Walking through the pub downstairs…was difficult.”

“Yes, I noticed your distress,” Zevran said. “You did very good considering the level of your addiction. I’m proud of you, my friend.”

“Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without you now Zevran,” Alistair sighed. “I think I’d probably go back to being a sad, pathetic drunk again in a heartbeat. Some days it would be so much easier than having to deal with these memories, and now I’ve got these horrible cravings as well. I am very grateful you saved me from myself.”

“Think nothing of it, my friend,” Zevran said sincerely. “As I have told you, you saved my life countless times back in Ferelden, even when you had no reason to even trust me. I also owe my life to you, many times over.”

“Well aren’t we just a mutual admiration society today?” Alistair chuckled. “Well, let’s go back to our room and get in bed, shall we?”

Zevran waggled his eyebrows at his still naïve friend. “Oh, are you propositioning me, my dear Alistair?”

Alistair blushed profusely. “Maker, no. I meant to go to sleep. Maker’s breath you are _incorrigible_.”

“So, you are saying you wish to _sleep with me_ , yes?” Zevran egged on.

Alistair climbed out of the warm water and snatched a towel, trying to keep his back turned, grumbling to himself as he dried himself off. Once again Alistair’s traitorous appendage had taken notice of Zevran’s teasing and he tried to hide it until he was able to squeeze himself back into his breeches.

Zevran laughed heartily at his friend’s discomfort. “I am sorry, but you do make yourself into an easy target my friend.”

Once back in their room, Alistair hurriedly got into the bed and turned to face the edge closest to him, grasping the covers tightly.

“If it will make you feel more comfortable, I can sleep on the floor,” Zevran offered.

Alistair turned to look at the half-naked elf. “No, that’s alright. Just promise me you won’t molest me in the middle of the night?”

Zevran chuckled. “Yes, Alistair, I promise. I have no intention of molesting you. It much more fun to simply _tease_.”

“Fine. Good night.” Alistair grumbled.

“Good night, my friend,” Zevran said smiling, as he slid beneath the covers, turning away from Alistair. As Zevran drifted to sleep, he thought. “I am finally sharing a bed with him _. Progress_!”


	4. Temptations at Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zevran and Alistair make the voyage from Wycome to Rivain, and Alistair is faced with more than one temptation.

Two days later Alistair and Zevran board the ship they booked passage on that will take them to Rivain. Zevran knows to try and lie low, as there may be Crows aboard ship, this close to Antiva. To save coin Alistair agreed to share a cabin with him, although they would be sleeping together in much _tighter_ quarters than they had been in the inn.

Thankfully the voyage would only last three days, and they decided they would remain in their cabin for as much of the trip as they could stand. For Zevran, it was to avoid running into any of his former _associates_ , and for Alistair, it was to avoid the temptation of the bottle. It was known that rum flowed liberally aboard these ships and the last thing Alistair needed was to spiral back into his old ways while stuck aboard ship.

Alistair was now struggling between two temptations, although Zevran was sure of only one of them. While they were just traveling along the road it was easy to maintain a healthy enough distance from each other. Once they were bunking together at the inn, he was in closer quarters with the handsome elf and it was already becoming _hard_ to ignore his attraction, but Maker’s Breath he now had to share an even smaller space with him, and Alistair was mortified. Alistair wasn’t even entirely sure why the Maker hadn’t struck him down for all his impure thoughts.

Alistair really enjoyed the friendship that he and Zevran were forming, and he knew he still needed Zevran’s help to keep him from spiraling out of control again like he had in Kirkwall, but this was going to be difficult. _Very_ difficult.

***

Zevran had scouted the ship after they left dock and confirmed there were indeed Crows aboard ship. Three of them. That was going to severely restrict his movements if he wanted to remain undetected. He was still the Crows most wanted man and he really wasn’t equipped to deal with three of them right now. His only choice was to lay low.

That meant sending Alistair out to procure food and water for them. It was a fairly short voyage, but Zevran worried about Alistair being tempted to drink without him nearby. Unfortunately there was nothing for it.

He returned to their small cabin, frowning. “There are three of them.”

“Maker. So what do we do?” Alistair asked.

“I will have to remain hidden. Dinner is being served in the mess, can you go and bring us back food and water? Can you trust yourself to not be tempted?” Zevran asked sternly.

Alistair swallowed visibly and shook his head. “I don’t know. At the inn it was so difficult and you were right there. Alone? I just don’t know.”

Zevran walked over to the larger man and sat next to him on the bed. He grabbed Alistair by the shoulders and turned the warrior to face him. “Can you try? For me?”

“Y…yes. I’ll try. I’m just a lot better at failing, these days,” Alistair said forlornly.

“Hush. You were successful at purging that poison from your system. Do you really want to poison yourself like that again?” Zevran said seriously.

“Maker no. I really don’t…but these cravings…they are still so bad,” Alistair admitted.

“Just go down to the galley, ask for 2 plates of dinner and a skein of water and then come directly back here. Do not stop and talk to anyone. Can you do that, my friend?” Zevran queried.

“Well, when you put it that way… it doesn’t sound so difficult. Alright. I’ll try.” Alistair agreed.

“Thank you, my friend,” Zevran sighed. “Now off with you. The sooner you go the sooner you can return.”

***

Alistair made his way through the bowels of the ship, wending his way towards the galley. He had hoped to not have to talk to anyone along the way, but he hadn’t expected that he’d have to walk through the mess to get to the galley, although it made perfect sense when he thought about it.

The problem with going through the mess was that it was filled with people. Drunken and drinking. The smell of ale and rum assailed his nose and he groaned internally before setting his jaw and wending his way through the crowded mess towards the galley.

“Oi, Ferelden!” shouted a man who looked very much like a Rivaini pirate. “Come share a drink with me!”

Alistair kept walking, reminding himself of how disappointed Zevran would be if he gave into temptation now.

“Oi!” the pirate shouted again. “Am I too good for you to drink with? Who do you think you are? The _King of Ferelden_?” Laughter erupted around him and Alistair flushed in shame.

Alistair turned around and tried to speak calmly. “I am just here to get some dinner and return to my quarters. I’m afraid I’m not good company right now. I have been ill.”

“Well then a drink is exactly what you need, mate!” the pirate grinned. “Oi, wench, get this man a glass of your best rum!”

Alistair tried to back away, but others crowded in behind him. “Please, I have been very ill. I couldn’t stomach it,” Alistair pleaded.

“It’s just one drink. Humor me, Ferelden,” the pirate smirked, grabbing the glass of rum offered by the serving wench and pressing it into Alistair’s hand.

Alistair looked down at the drink in his hand, his heart thumping, and a sheen of sweat breaking out across his brow. He began visibly trembling.

“Go on, Ferelden, drink up! You look like you could use it!” the pirate roared with laughter.

Alistair began to lift the drink to his lips. Two conflicting voices roared in his brain, one saying _It’s only one drink. What harm could that do?_ The other tried to remind him of the pain and anguish he had gone through to get this poison out of his system in the first place, and how disappointed Zevran would be with him if he failed now.

Taking a deep breath, the internal conflict ceased and one clear voice won out. Alistair tipped up the glass and slammed back the rum in one gulp, savoring the burn as it went down his throat.

“There, satisfied?” Alistair asked before turning and pushing his way through the crowd and heading towards the galley. Alistair managed to make it to the galley and make his request for dinner when the rum hit him. The pleasant wooziness and warmth spread and he noticeably relaxed. Grasping his plates of food he marched back over to the pirate, full of false confidence.

“As a matter of fact,” Alistair began. “I am in fact Ferelden royalty.”

“Are you now?” the pirate asked, quirking a brow. “Who are you? The bastard prince?”

“As a matter-of-fact, I am,” Alistair responded.

“We’d heard you died, _your highness_ ,” the pirate said. “What are you doing on a ship bound for Rivain?”

“That is none of your business,” Alistair stated firmly. “Now I must return to my quarters. Thanks for the drink.”

As Alistair tried to make his way back out of the mess, the wench approached him with a second glass of rum. “For _Your Highness_. Compliments of the Captain, dearie,” she indicated another man at the head table in the mess, giving him a smile and a wave.

 _No, no, no_. One was more than he should have had to begin with. Two was worse.

“Go on, take it, I wouldn’t be insulting the Captain if I were you,” the wench said threateningly.

Alistair realized he was well and truly fucked, and he grabbed the glass and slammed the second one down, shoving the glass back at the wench before grabbing his plates of food and stalking out of the mess, the pirates and other patrons roaring with laughter again.

At first Alistair felt fine, with just a mild wooziness, something he thought he could play off and not have Zevran notice. It wasn’t until he was just in the door of their cabin and Alistair was handing Zevran his plate of food when the second rum hit Alistair. Hard.

Alistair nearly stumbled against Zevran and wobbled to try and stay upright as the room began to spin. Alistair was trying very hard to play it off, but Zevran knew immediately what was going on.

“Alistair! What have you done!?” Zevran hissed at him angrily.

“’s’Nothing, I just went to get some food, thas’ all,” Alistair slurred thickly.

Zevran grabbed Alistair’s plate and set both down on the small table in their cabin before turning to slap Alistair hard across the face. “You fool! I warned you not to drink. You made all that progress for _nothing_!”

Zevran’s slap had the effect of slightly sobering up Alistair, but only slightly. “I’sorry Zev. I didn’t mean to. The mean pirate made me. An’ then the Captain did too.”

“What…pirate? And the ship’s Captain?” Zevran asked.

“There’s a pirate, in the mess. He was…making fun of me and…and forced me to drink a glass of rum,” Alistair explained. “A…and then…the Captain bought me a glass too, and…they said it would be rude…for me to refuse.”

“ _Puta mierda_ ,” Zevran swore angrily. “If those Crows were not aboard I would give that pirate a piece of my mind, at the pointy end of my blade.”

Zevran then softened his gaze, realizing it really wasn’t Alistair’s fault. He knew the cravings were already making things difficult. Having people shove drinks at him made them impossible.

“Come Alistair, sit,” Zevran instructed. “I am sorry to have to do this but we must try and get that rum out of you quickly before it hits you any harder.”

Zevran went to his pack and retrieved the herbs he’d used on Alistair before, sprinkling a liberal amount in a cup and then filling it with water.

“Drink.”

Alistair drank, and was soon purging the remnants of the rum from his stomach into their chamber pot. Once it was purged to Zevran’s satisfaction, he went about undressing Alistair in order to get him tucked into bed to rest.

Zevran noted that Alistair seemed to be getting aroused by his undressing him, but said nothing. Most likely Alistair was seeing him as some beautiful elven girl in his drunken state.

Then, Alistair reached out and grabbed Zevran, trying to pull the elf closer. “C’mere Zev, give me a kiss.”

Zevran was taken aback…had Alistair actually asked _him_ for a kiss?

“Zev, please! I don’t care about the Maker-forsaken Chantry anymore. I just want to kiss you…so bad…please!” Alistair whined.

Zevran struggled against the larger man’s grasp and finally got a firm hold on this hands. “No, my friend. I will not kiss you. Not tonight.”

“Why, Zev?! I thought you wanted me…” Alistair cried.

Zevran sat down next to Alistair and cupped his face. “Look at me. I will not kiss you, or do anything else except tuck you into this bed, because you are not thinking clearly. If you really want a kiss from me, wait until you are sober, and ask me again,” Zevran said sincerely. “I would never take advantage of you when you’re in such a condition. I care for you too much to do so. Do you understand?”

Alistair nodded and began to cry. “Could you at least...hold me?”

“ _Si_ , this I can do,” Zevran nodded. “Come, get under the covers and I will hold you as we get some rest.”

Their dinner entirely forgotten, Alistair slipped under the covers and Zevran followed suit after stripping down to just his breeches. He then wrapped his arms around the weeping warrior, who curled himself around the elf as if there would be no tomorrow. Zevran felt Alistair’s obvious arousal pressing against his hip.

“ _Dios me libre_ ,” Zevran breathed as held his weeping friend until they both drifted into the Fade.


	5. Completing the Contract

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alistair assists Zevran with his contract, and then makes a startling confession.

Zevran kept Alistair in their cabin the rest of the voyage and they subsisted on the now cold plates of food the warrior had brought, and some of their dry rations they had in their packs. Alistair had been completely mortified by his behavior after he sobered up and spent most of the time curled up on the cot facing the wall, too embarrassed to face Zevran.

Zevran kept having to force Alistair to drink water and eat, and did his best to get his friend through his relapse withdrawal, which thankfully wasn’t as bad as the first withdrawal had been, and he was mostly recovered by the time they docked in Rivain.

As they made their way off the ship, Zevran was fairly certain the Crows hadn’t spotted him, yet he made sure to keep an eye on them to make sure they didn’t book rooms at the same Inn.

Once they were alone again at the inn of Zevran’s choosing, Alistair once again curled up into a ball of shame and avoided Zevran as much as possible. Zevran knew he needed to address this, but he decided to wait until after he had completed the contract he was here to fulfill. He instructed Alistair to remain in their room while he went out to scout for where his target could be found. He worried about leaving Alistair alone, but there was nothing for it.

Once this contract was fulfilled, they would have enough coin to last them a year, at least. Then Zevran could focus on getting Alistair the proper rehabilitation he required.

Until then, Zevran focused upon the task at hand, and finally located his target and learned his routine movements. Soon he had a plan in place, and he hoped that perhaps by letting Alistair help him with his target, it would help the warrior find some renewed purpose in life.

Zevran returned to the inn to find Alistair curled up on the bed in the same position as he’d left him.

“Alistair, my friend. I require your assistance,” Zevran spoke gently.

“Leave me alone, Zev. I’m no use to you, or anyone,” Alistair said with a harsh whisper.

“No, _querido_ , that is not so. I am in need of your assistance on this contract, _por favor_ ,” Zevran said gently. “I didn’t outfit you with new armor and weapons, just so you could sit around and mope in bed all day.”

“Fiiiiine. What do you need me to do?” Alistair whined.

“I need you to watch my back. There are more Crows here than I had anticipated, and I need to make sure I’m not attacked while I am in the process of slitting my target’s throat,” Zevran said seriously.

“Your target is the head of a slaver ring?” Alistair asked.

“ _Si_ , and if we are not too late, we can also rescue his most recent shipment of slaves before they are sent to Tevinter,” Zevran affirmed.

“Well, alright, I’ll come watch your back. I don’t want to see you end up hauled off as a slave, or killed,” Alistair said sullenly. “That would make me feel even worse.”

“That’s the spirit!” Zevran said, trying to lighten the mood.

Alistair got up and with Zevran’s help donned his new armor. He had opted for lighter leather armor instead of his usual plate. The plate armor was always so heavy and restricted his movements, and he was glad to have donned it for the last time the day he walked out of the palace in Denerim all those years ago. He’d actually stripped that armor off, piece by piece as he left, leaving a trail of plate armor in his wake. That set had been a gift from Aedan, the betrayer of his trust.

Alistair would never wear plate again if he could help it.

After strapping the large great sword upon his back, Alistair was ready to accompany Zevran.

Upon approaching the docks where they would find their target, Zevran pulled Alistair down behind some crates.

“There he is,” Zevran pointed towards a rather nasty looking man with white hair, dressed all in black. “Stay here and keep your eyes and ears _open_ ,” Zevran whispered. “Watch for signs of trouble, while I go take care of our little friend over there.”

Zevran pulled his cloak over his head, hiding his elven features and Crow markings, and strode out confidently towards the slaver. Alistair watched warily as Zevran engaged the man in conversation. The man let his guard slip and Zevran had him, slicing his neck cleanly. Alistair was about to breathe a sigh of relief when he heard the stealthy approach of other rogues. After spending so many months traveling with Zevran during the Fifth Blight, Alistair became attuned to the sound.

It seemed that Zevran detected them at the same instant and went into a defensive stance, when all of a sudden he was surrounded by five Crows. Almost as suddenly as they appeared, Alistair came roaring from behind the crates.

Alistair was rusty, but not completely out of shape. The long walk from Kirkwall to Wycome had helped a little in that regard. He swung his great sword at the first assailant as Zevran defended himself as best as he could. Thankfully Zevran was still in his prime and had no problems dodging the first attacks. Through his sheer size Alistair managed to overpower one startled Crow, separating his head from his body, and now Alistair and Zevran were fighting back-to-back.

“Your bodyguard won’t be able to stop me from claiming my prize, Zevran Aranai,” one Crow sneered. “I will be showered in riches when I present your head in Antiva City.”

“Do you really think so?” Zevran mocked. “I was rather picturing you showered in your own blood. It would be a good look for you, yes?”

They fought fiercely and soon two more Crows lay on the ground in their own blood. Alistair had taken a slight wound to his shoulder, but it was nothing he hadn’t dealt with before, although reminded him why warriors wore plate.

Zevran was also bleeding from half-a-dozen cuts, none of them serious. He kept trying to find an opening or a weakness on his opponent he could exploit, but the Crow had been well-trained. Zevran also noted Alistair’s labored breathing. He was starting to weaken and the elf wasn’t about to lose his friend over this. Zevran shouted at Alistair. “Switch!”

They switched opponents, not quite as seamlessly as they had in the old days, but well enough. Zevran hoped Alistair could hold off the senior Crow for a few moments while he dispatched the other and then the two of them could do a combined assault on the final Crow.

Unfortunately that isn’t what happened. Instead, Alistair made a misstep and ended up whacking Zevran in the back of the head with the pommel of his sword, and Zevran fell to the ground unconscious. Alistair didn’t realize it was his fault and thought the other Crow had taken Zevran out.

Alistair went into a rage at seeing his fallen friend at his feet. “Zevran!” he shouted and renewed the ferocity of his attacks. Through sheer strength and a lot of luck, Alistair’s sword lopped off the head of the senior Crow and it was fairly easy to separate the other Crow from his head as well.

Once the fight was over, Alistair dropped the sword and sunk to his knees, tears welling in his eyes. He cradled Zevran's head in his lap and wept. “No, no, no, Zevran. I can’t lose you. Not now. I…need you, so much,” Alistair began to sob, tears streaming down his face. “Come back to me, Zev, please. I need to tell you how much…how much…how much _I love you_!”

Alistair collapsed over Zevran, wracked with sobs, when he felt the Antivan stir.

Sitting up, Alistair brushed some of Zevran’s long blonde hair out of his face. “Zev?”

“Si, _querido_ , I still live,” Zevran replied. “Although I did take quite a blow to the head, my clumsy friend,” Zevran said with a weak smile. “Come, help me up and let us loot these fool’s purses. They will have no need of their coin anymore.”

“Maker Zev, that was me? I’m so sorry,” Alistair looked sheepishly at Zevran, wondering if the former Crow had heard his confession or not. If he had, he wasn’t saying anything yet.

They proceeded to locate the caged elves that were to be shipped to Tevinter, taking out the few slavers guarding them easily and setting the poor, grateful wretches free. One of them was a mage and a healer and he offered to heal their wounds in thanks for being rescued. Zevran and Alistair happily accepted.

***

As they made their way back into town, Zevran led Alistair to a local bath house. “After the successful completion of a contract, I always treat myself to a hot bath. I prefer to rid myself of the stench of blood and sweat.”

As they now had extra coin, Zevran splurged on one of the private bathing rooms, one with an extra-large tub, insisting that Alistair join him. He also paid to have their armor cleaned while they bathed. Once they were alone, Zevran coaxed Alistair into the tub of hot water, scented with exotic oils.

“You saved my life today, querido. The least I can do is help to wash your back, no?” Zevran said getting into the hot water behind Alistair.

The warrior blushed and tried desperately to keep Zevran from seeing his arousal, something that seemed to always occur whenever he saw the elf naked these days. Alistair had lost all control over that particular appendage, especially after what had happened earlier.

Zevran began washing Alistair’s back, gently massaging the warrior with soap covered hands. “You are so tense, my friend. You really should try to relax,” Zevran cooed. Alistair tried to relax but it was difficult. Zevran’s hands felt so good against his bare skin and it took quite an effort not to moan and lean into the touch.

Unbeknownst to Alistair, Zevran had heard his declaration quite clearly earlier, but chose to bide his time lest he frighten the poor Chantry-brainwashed fool. Zevran’s heart had skipped a beat at the declaration. It was certainly more than he had ever hoped for from Alistair. Yet he also knew the man was shy and terrified of committing a _sin against the Maker_. Zevran had also been noticing Alistair getting aroused around him for quite some time, but he didn’t want to press the issue until he was certain Alistair was ready.

Now that his contract was successfully completed, Zevran could focus all his attention his handsome warrior. Sharing a hot bath was his way of _testing the waters_ , so to speak.

Slowly Alistair relaxed against Zevran’s ministrations and without meaning to, he began to moan in pleasure at the touch of Zevran’s skillful hands. Zevran began to slowly move his hands around the warrior, placing tentative kisses across his shoulder blades, while slipping his hands further down the front and scooting closer so Alistair could feel the elf’s arousal.

Alistair seemed completely lost in the sensation of being touched he didn’t seem to react at first when Zevran’s hands grazed against his very noticeable erection. When Alistair finally realized he started and seemed ready to bolt.

Zevran wrapped his arms around the warrior, holding him in place. “Shh. Do not worry _mi amor_. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Please, relax.”

“But…Zev…I…this is wrong. The Chantry teaches…”Alistair whined.

“The Chantry can go fuck itself,” Zevran said, more harshly than he had intended. “They brainwash you fools from a young age into believing that physical pleasure is wrong, is a sin. Is there anything in the Chant that speak of this?”

“No…no, it doesn’t,” Alistair admitted.

“Exactly right. There is no sin in seeking physical pleasure. If there is a Maker, he wouldn’t have made our bodies such as they are, if we weren’t meant to use these wonderful gifts, yes?” Zevran argued.

Alistair let out a long, shuddering sigh, and Zevran could tell Alistair was weeping. For joy or for sadness it was difficult to say.

“Why do you cry, _mi amor_?” Zevran asked quietly.

“Because I believed those lies for so long. I kept myself…pure…because I thought I would be struck down if I didn’t,” Alistair sobbed. “I’ve longed for _your touch_ for so long…”

“Turn around, _mi amor_ ,” Zevran said.

Alistair slowly got up and turned around, sitting back down in the hot water. He looked at Zevran with a mix of hope and reverence. Zevran climbed onto the larger man’s lap, wrapping his legs around his waist and bringing their bodies closer together and Alistair for the first time noticed Zevran’s own arousal, his eyes going wide at the sight.

Zevran cupped Alistair’s face gently. “ _Mi amor_. I think it is now time to stop denying what you want, yes?”

Alistair just nodded, trembling, clearly unsure how to proceed. “What does that mean? You stopped calling me… _care-ee-do_? And now it’s _me ah-more_?”

Zevran blushed and smiled at Alistair’s attempts at Antivan. Zevran realized now that he had slipped changed his term of affection for Alistair. Zevran stroked his thumbs in circles over Alistair’s cheeks and looked into his eyes. “It means, _my love_.”

Alistair’s eyes went wide and he realized Zevran had heard him after all. He swallowed, visibly. “Oh, Zev…”

Zevran leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Alistair’s lips. At first Alistair didn’t react at all, but Zevran kept up the pressure on his lips and slowly the warrior began to kiss back tentatively. Zevran slid his hands around the warrior’s neck, pulling them even closer together as Alistair shyly wrapped his arms around the elf.

Zevran’s tongue began to tease, swiping across Alistair’s lower lip, enticing the man to part his lips slightly. Zevran took that opportunity to deepen the kiss. Soon the kiss grew passionate and almost desperate as Alistair lost himself in the taste and smell of the elf.

When Zevran finally broke the kiss, he saw that Alistair’s tears had not abated.

“Why do you still cry, _mi amor_?” Zevran asked, wiping the tears from the man’s face.

“I can’t help it Zev. I’m just so…happy. I feel like my heart is about to burst,” Alistair said, breaking into a goofy grin.

“Ah, well then that is an excellent reason for tears to be shed, no?” Zevran laughed and kissed Alistair again.

“If you have longed for my touch, what have you longed for me to do?” Zevran asked curiously.

“I…don’t know. I just longed for you to touch me…everywhere,” Alistair said, blushing. “I don’t really know how… _all this_ …works.”

“Oh _mi amor_ , you truly are a blushing virgin, aren’t you?” Zevran teased. “Perhaps we should conclude our bath and go back to the inn. A bed might be more comfortable, yes?”

Alistair nodded, but tilted his head for another kiss and Zevran couldn’t resist. The elf went back to kissing Alistair, while his hands found their way down to the warrior’s hardened length, grasping it with his hand and giving it a firm stroke. Alistair groaned loudly as his eyes flew open at the sensation.

“Let me guess, you never touch yourself either?” Zevran asked smiling.

“Maker, no. I was whipped when the Chantry sisters found me doing it. I never did it again,” Alistair blushed.

“I see there are many things you need to unlearn,” Zevran scowled. “It is a good thing I have patience, yes?”

They quickly finished their bath and dressed in their breeches and shirts. Their armor wasn’t finished yet, so Zevran instructed to have the armor sent back to their inn when they were finished cleaning it.

Then Zevran took Alistair’s hand and led him through the streets back to the inn. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the cliffhanger! This is as far as I've gotten with this story. I'm still working on the next chapter and I promise it will be full of fluffy, smexy goodness!


	6. Learning to Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zevran teaches Alistair the joys of making love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you waiting for it, here are 3,000 words of pure fluffy smut. Enjoy!
> 
> Now with art from el-mroko! http://el-mroko.deviantart.com/ (see below)

When they arrived back at the inn, Zevran led Alistair back up to their room and locked it tightly behind them, before drawing the man he had desired for so long into a tender but passionate kiss.

Poor Alistair, while eager, still seemed terrified that the Maker was about to strike him down at any moment. Zevran knew he would have to take this very slowly. It had been a very long time since he’d had the pleasure of deflowering anyone and especially one whom he truly desired.

“Come, _mi amor_ , come sit with me on the bed,” Zevran led the larger man over to the large bed that they had already shared, for sleeping anyway. Zevran stroked one side of Alistair’s face with his hand. “Look at me, tell me, what do you see?”

Alistair chuckled. “I see you Zev.”

“What else?” Zevran pressed.

“I…I see…a handsome elf,” Alistair blushed. “I see…golden hair. Swirling tattoos. Amber eyes…filled with desire.”

“Si, filled with desire for you. Do you still desire me, mi amor?” Zevran asked softly.

“Maker preserve me, but yes…yes, I do,” Alistair confessed. “I told you I’ve been fighting it for weeks…maybe…maybe even longer than that.”

“Oh truly? When did you first realized you desired me, hmm?” Zevran questioned.

“Um…well…do you remember the first time we bathed together, during the Fifth Blight? It was not long after you joined our group and I followed you because I still didn’t trust you. When I saw you naked…Maker you looked so perfect.” Alistair looked away, blushing furiously now.

“Look at me,” Zevran commanded.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it,” Alistair frowned.

“We will get you past that, together, alright?” Zevran said reassuringly.

“Ok,” Alistair said, taking a deep breath.

“I will not take anything more from you, than you are willing to give,” Zevran reassured the nervous man next to him. “At any point tonight, if you wish me to stop, tell me so, and it ends. It can end for just tonight or it can end forever, whatever it is you wish.”

“Thank you, Zev,” Alistair nodded. “That’s reassuring.”

“Good.” Zev smiled.

“Let’s begin by removing all this pesky clothing,” Zevran suggested.

Alistair began pulling his shirt off, blushing once more, and then taking off his boots and breeches. When it came to his smallclothes he hesitated.

“Here, let me help you,” Zevran purred. “I desire to see all of you.”

Zevran slowly pushed Alistair’s small clothes down, freeing his erection that still stood proud and erect.

Zevran stood back to admire Alistair, looking appreciatively at him. “You are _magnifico, mi amor_. A truly fine specimen of manhood.”

Zevran then finished removing his own clothing, revealing his own arousal.

“Lie on the bed,” Zevran instructed when he could see Alistair had no idea what to do next.

Zevran went to his pack and fetched his favorite bottle of oil and placed it on the table next to the bed.

“What is that for?” Alistair asked.

“It is just in case. Some activities between two men require it. Do not worry about it for now,” Zevran explained.

Zevran then joined Alistair on the bed, crawling alongside him. “We are going to take this very slow. I wish for you to enjoy everything we do. I will tell you exactly what I will do next, so you can tell me to stop, and do not be afraid to ask me anything.”

Alistair nodded.

“First, I think we shall do some more kissing. I really enjoy that delicious mouth of yours,” Zevran said with a purr.

“I think I really like kissing,” Alistair admitted.

“Good,” Zevran almost growled, before descending on Alistair’s mouth, practically devouring it with his need to touch and taste this gorgeous man. Zevran’s tongue slowly filled Alistair’s mouth as he deepened their kiss, wanting to taste and explore every corner of the warrior’s mouth.

Zevran paused to take a breath, and then sat back, getting a mischievous look in his eye.

“Touch yourself, _mi amor_ ,” Zevran said quietly.

Alistair looked confused at first.

“Like this,” Zevran demonstrated on himself, grasping his own erection in his hand and giving it a stroke.

“W…why?” Alistair asked, blushing a deep red.

“Before you can pleasure another, it is good to know how to pleasure yourself,” Zevran explained.

“But…what about you? If I do this…won’t we have to wait a long time?” Alistair asked.

“Perhaps, but I have heard rumors of the infamous _Warden stamina_ ,” Zevran said teasingly. “I wish to see how true they are. So please, indulge me, _mi amor_. Touch yourself.”

Alistair hesitantly reached for his erection, squeezing his eyes shut, expecting the veritable lightning bolt to smite him where he lay as he slowly wrapped his hand around his length. When no bolt of lightning came, Alistair visibly began to relax and he stroked his cock once, tentatively. Alistair moaned at the sensation.

“Does it always feel that good?” Alistair said breathlessly.

“Mostly, yes. You will find it feels better some days more than others, but in general it always feels _good_ ,” Zevran acknowledged. “Now, do as I do.”

Zevran began pumping his hand over his own erection, still slowly, but not teasingly. Alistair watched transfixed for a moment before trying it himself. The way Alistair threw his head back in ecstasy at the sensation made Zevran’s cock twitch.

“Make sure your grip is firm,” Zevran said, his voice now thick with lust. It was taking every ounce of self-control not to just jump Alistair right then and there.

As Alistair complied, it took only another stroke or two and the former Warden was cumming with a loud keen, arching his back off the bed, trying to chase the sensation. The poor man looked positively debauched and they hadn’t even really started yet.

“Maker Zev, I had no idea…” Alistair said, panting and breathless.

“I know,” Zev smiled. “That is why I am taking this with you slow. You have yet much to learn.”

Zevran crawled over to Alistair then, with a positively filthy look on his face. “Let me help you clean that up, _mi amor_.” He then proceeded to lick Alistair’s cum off of his chest, tracing the lines of spend down his stomach. “Mmm just as I suspected. You are delicious.”

Alistair’s mind was blown by the feeling of that warm, wet tongue licking him clean, and by the time Zevran’s mouth made it all the way down to his crotch, Alistair was already hard again. _Warden stamina indeed_.

“Now, I am going to suck your cock,” Zevran said quietly.

Zevran firmly put his hands on Alistair’s hips to keep him from bucking, and slowly began to wrap his mouth around Alistair’s cock. Alistair reacted immediately, moaning wantonly at the sensation of wet heat, trying to buck against Zevran’s firm grip.

Zevran was patient, taking Alistair’s cock all the way to the base slowly, so the man could feel every inch of the slide. Once he had engulfed the full length, Zevran swallowed and began the slide back up, hollowing his cheeks along the way. One thing the whores had taught him well, was how to give a fantastic blow job.

Alistair was moaning and gibbering incoherently at this point. All Zevran could make out as he continued to suck Alistair’s cock were _Maker so good_ and _I never realized_.

Alistair lasted a little longer this time, but all too soon he was cumming again in Zevran’s mouth, who swallowed him down almost greedily.

Zevran crawled back up and began to kiss Alistair deeply, letting the man taste his own spend on the elf’s tongue.

Alistair looked at Zevran in surprise. “That’s what I taste like?”

Zevran nodded and began to plunder Alistair’s mouth again, while the man groaned at the mixed taste of cum and elf.

Now that Zevran had made Alistair cum twice, Zevran felt it was safe to draw things out more. He was still achingly hard, but he wanted to explore every inch of this magnificent body beneath him. Alistair, still inexperienced just lay there panting, allowing Zevran to touch, kiss and taste him everywhere. Zevran wanted to find every single erogenous zone on his magnificent warrior. In Alistair’s heightened state of arousal, that seemed to be almost every inch of his skin.

By the time Zevran made it down to his toes, sucking each one into his mouth, one at a time, Alistair was hard again.

Zevran was impressed.

“Now, _mi amore_ ,” Zevran purred, as he crawled back up the bed. “I would like to get to the main event, as it were.”

Alistair was, at this point, completely boneless and couldn’t imagine what else Zevran could have planned.

Zevran reached for the bottle of oil he had brought out earlier. “Do you remember this?”

Alistair nodded.

“As I said, some activities require it, as men do not produce their own slickness for lovemaking as women do,” Zevran explained.

“Slickness? Women produce slickness? Where?” Alistair asked, curious.

“Ah yes, you wouldn’t know about this. When a woman is aroused and ready for sex, her _coño_ becomes slick and wet, to make the sex more pleasant for her and her partner,” Zevran explained. “For us men, if we wish to have sex, we need to provide our own slick.”

“What we’ve been doing…that wasn’t sex?” Alistair asked, stunned.

“Not precisely, no,” Zevran smiled at his naïve lover. “What we have done so far is often called foreplay.”

“Maker, if foreplay is that amazing…” Alistair groaned.

Zevran smiled at him reassuringly. “So, there are two ways we could go about this. I can fuck you, or you can fuck me. I enjoy either immensely, so I will let you choose.”

“What…how?” Alistair stared wide-eyed.

“Well it usually involves one of us sticking our cock into the other man’s _culo_ ,” Zevran tried to explain. “Let me demonstrate, with a finger, if I may?”

Alistair nodded.

“Spread your legs for me, _mi amor_ ,” Zevran said softly, “And put this pillow under your hips.”

Alistair complied, his heart racing and his breathing becoming shallow.

Zevran positioned himself between Alistair’s legs and he slicked his middle finger with the oil. He then began to massage around Alistair’s tight, puckered hole and the large man started.

“Shh. Alistair, calm yourself. Relax and enjoy this,” Zevran said soothingly. “This should feel very good, but only if you relax. Breath for me, nice deep breaths.”

Alistair tried taking deep breaths, willing his body to relax and once the tension had left his body he once again felt the finger massaging _down there_. At first it terrified him but after a few beats it started actually feel quite _pleasant_.

Zevran sensed exactly the moment when Alistair was properly relaxed and enjoying the finger massaging his entrance and that’s when Zevran began to push his finger against it. Naturally Alistair tensed again and Zevran soothed him back into relaxation. It took several minutes until Zevran was able to slowly push his finger into Alistair’s tight, virginal hole.

“It feels strange to you, yes?” Zevran said matter-of-factly, recalling the first time his own _culo_ had been breached like this, so very long ago. “Relax and breathe, and it will begin to feel wonderful.”

Alistair breathed and kept focusing on relaxation.

“I will move my finger now, keep breathing,” Zevran instructed. The elf slowly moved his finger, sliding part of the way out and then back in again. He kept a slow, steady rhythm and continued to soothe Alistair with his words. “Very good, _mi amor_. You are doing very well. How does it feel now?”

Alistair wasn’t sure how to describe it exactly. “It…I don’t know…but…it’s good. Better than good.”

“Good.” Zevran said smiling. “So, this is how one man fucks another, except instead of a finger…”

“You mean you would put…. _that_ …in… _there_?” Alistair asked, tensing again.

“ _Si_ , and it feels wonderful for both partners,” Zevran assured him. “So I ask you, would you like me to fuck you? Or would you prefer to fuck me?”

“I…I don’t know…” Alistair said.

“Would you like to stop?” Zevran asked.

“Maker, no!” Alistair started. “I’m…just not sure.”

“Do you like how my finger feels inside your _culo_?” Zevran asked.

“Yes,” Alistair breathed, blushing.

“Would you like to feel my cock inside, sliding in and out of you?” Zevran pressed.

“Maker, yes…” Alistair nodded his head.

“Then tell me. Tell me you wish to feel my cock inside you.” Zevran insisted.

Alistair flushed with embarrassment. “I…I…”

“Come, _mi amor_ , the words are easy to say and you will not be struck down for saying them,” Zevran said calmly. “Tell me what you want.”

Alistair took a deep breath. “I… _oh Maker preserve me_ …I want to feel your…cock…inside me.”

“There, was that truly so difficult?” Zevran teased. Alistair nodded, making Zevran chuckle.

“Well if it is my cock you truly want, I will have to prepare you a bit more,” Zevran said as he poured more oil over Alistair’s hole and slowly inserted a second finger.

Alistair arched his back at the sensation of being stretched wider as Zevran continued to slowly pump his fingers in and out. Then Zevran added a third and Alistair keened.

“You are almost prepared, but first there is one more thing,” Zevran said with a smirk. “There is a spot inside your _culo_ that can bring intense pleasure. This is a thing only men have and it makes this feel even better. I am going to stimulate it now so you know what it feels like.”

Zevran crooked his fingers against Alistair’s prostrate and Alistair wailed, arching his back in pleasure. Zevran smiled. “That feels amazing, no?”

“Fuck, Zev…that…wow…do it again?” Alistair asked.

Zevran chuckled and crooked his fingers once more and Alistair nearly came again. “Oh Maker, that’s amazing.”

“Are you ready for me, _mi amor_?” Zevran asked as he slowly removed his fingers.

“Yes, Zev. Please,” Alistair begged.

“Tell me again what you wish of me,” Zevran commanded. If he had to do it one brick at a time, Zevran was going to take down this wall the Chantry had built around his lover.

Alistair took another deep breath. “I want your cock inside me, please Zev,” Alistair said with new confidence.

“Well since you ask so nicely, how can I say no?” Zevran teased, slicking his cock with the oil.

Zevran then moved forward, he hooked Alistair’s legs over his shoulders and lined his cock up at the warrior’s entrance. “Breathe, _mi amor_. This may start out uncomfortable. Breathe through it.”

Zevran slowly began to push forward, stopping each time Alistair tensed. This was becoming slow torture for the elf, but he knew he had to be very careful for Alistair’s first time.

When Alistair tensed again, Zevran instructed him to bear down, while taking a deep breath. Finally Alistair’s muscles relaxed enough and Zevran’s head breached the entrance. He held himself still, allowing Alistair time to adjust before very slowly sliding the rest of his cock inside.

“You are so very tight, _mi amor_ ,” Zevran groaned. “It feels _magnifico_.”

All Alistair could do was moan as the initial burn gave way to pure pleasure. He never realized how wonderful it could feel to be so…full.

Once Zevran was completely inside him, the elf leaned down and captured Alistair’s mouth again. Zevran’s kiss was passionate and full of need, and he waited until he felt Alistair adjust around him. He broke the kiss long enough to tell Alistair. “I am going to move now.”

Alistair nodded and they were kissing again as Zevran began to slowly move in and out, relishing the tight heat around his cock. “ _Mi amor_ , you feel so good,” he murmured against Alistair’s lips. “I have wanted you for so long…”

Alistair moaned in ecstasy, unable to think or speak coherently. Zevran began to move faster now, being driven by his own need. He changed his angle to hit against that spot deep within Alistair, causing the warrior to literally keen with every stroke.

Zevran was now thrusting hard and fast, again and again and again. Alistair’s hips rose to meet the thrusts of their own accord, taking the elf deeper with each thrust.

“Touch yourself, _mi amor_. I would feel you cum for me.” Zevran growled in his ear.

Alistair wrapped his hand around his cock again and began to stroke as he had learned how to earlier.

“Match your strokes with my thrusts,” Zevran instructed.

Alistair did so and _oh!_ It was amazing. Alistair wouldn’t last much longer and Zevran could sense it. “Cum for me, _mi amor_ , let me feel your pleasure.”

Upon hearing those words Alistair roared as he came, harder than he had before, splattering his cum all over his chest again.

As Zevran felt Alistair clench deliciously around his cock, he was driven over the edge of ecstasy, pounding a few more times into that delicious, tight hole before he stilled, spilling his seed deep inside his lover.

Breathing heavily, Zevran slowly slipped out of Alistair and collapsed next to him. “You were _Magnifico_ , _mi amor_.”

They kissed tenderly again and Zevran got up and got a cloth to clean himself and Alistair off.

Zevran looked at Alistair now. He radiated a new, calm confidence he hadn’t before. The Alistair that had woken up that morning was the poster-child of a man desperately in need of getting laid. Now that his fears had been faced head-on he was much more relaxed.

Zevran returned to bed, snuggling next to his lover.

Alistair rolled onto his side and pushed himself up on one elbow. His eyes were filled with love and adoration. “Thank you Zev,” he said, leaning in for a tender kiss.

“I should be thanking you,” Zevran chuckled. “I haven’t had sex that good in…a very long time.”

“If I had known…all these years of repression…” Alistair said wistfully. “You gave me a wonderful thing today. You gave me yourself. I love you, so much.”

“And I love you, mi amor,” Zevran said sincerely. “I hope we never have to be separated in life again.”

“Then we won’t be,” Alistair said.


	7. Interrupted Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zevran and Alistair have become complacent in each other's company and the Crows come back to make them pay dearly for their insolence.

It had been three months since their first night together. Alistair was a changed man once he let go of most of the fears instilled in him by the Chantry. Zevran taught him how to love and accept himself and stop fearing the Maker for every little perceived transgression.

Zevran still couldn’t believe that he and Alistair were actually _together_ now, and he didn’t care who knew. Not everyone in Rivain was accepting of two men in a relationship, but for the most part people kept their opinions to themselves. So the two of them settled into a few months of domestic bliss as their relationship blossomed. They had enough coin from the contract they’d completed, so they remained at the inn and just spent their days wandering the countryside, enjoying each other’s company.

Alistair was still recovering and he and Zevran would often spar together in the afternoons, working on improving his fitness and sword skills so he wouldn’t accidentally knock Zevran unconscious again if they found themselves in another fight.

Alistair also seemed to have a need to make up for lost time, and Zevran found himself making love to the warrior frequently. Very frequently. They enjoyed heated, passionate lovemaking each night and sleepy, slow lovemaking each morning. Alistair was definitely demonstrating to Zevran what that famous Grey Warden stamina really was and the elf felt hard pressed to keep up some days.

Not that Zevran minded. He hadn’t had someone to warm his bed for months before running into Alistair in Kirkwall and Alistair was proving to be a very eager partner, now that he’d gotten past the worst of his Chantry-bred brainwashing.

***

One evening they were back in their room, kissing passionately. Alistair was already trying to remove Zevran’s clothing, desperate again to feel the elf’s skin against his own.

“Always so eager, _mi amor_ ,” Zevran purred.

Alistair paused, blushing. It was immediately clear that he had something in mind that he was struggling to put into words.

“What is it, _mi amor_? What do you desire?” Zevran asked seductively.

Alistair blushed even more and then said. “You.”

“Ah, but you already have me, yes?” Zevran teased. “In fact you have me more than once each day, as I recall.”

“No. You have me,” Alistair shook his head. “Tonight, I’d like to try having you.”

Zevran now understood his meaning and smiled lasciviously.

“I thought you’d never ask, _mi amor_ ,” Zevran growled removing the rest of his clothing quickly.

Alistair laughed. “Now who’s eager?”

Soon they were both naked and Alistair picked up the smaller elf in his arms, kissing him as he walked him over to their shared bed and laid him down gently. Alistair laid down next to Zevran and continued to kiss and caress the elf in the way Zevran always took care of him.

Zevran practically purred at the attention, letting Alistair have his way with him.

Alistair began kissing his way down Zevran’s chest and abdomen, keeping eye contact with Zevran, with a wicked grin playing across his lips. Soon he was face-to-face with Zevran’s very erect cock and he licked his lips at the sight.

Alistair had never done this before but he had watched Zevran intently when he performed it on him. He tentatively licked the tip of Zevran’s cock, causing the elf to groan a bit in pleasure. The taste of the pre-cum was salty on his tongue, encouraging the warrior to take more of Zevran’s length into his mouth.

“Oh, _si, mi amor_. That is good.” Zevran said encouragingly.

Alistair swallowed as much of the elf’s erection as he dared and then slid his mouth and tongue back up.

“Suck a little on the upstroke, _mi amor_ , it will make it more pleasurable,” Zevran almost moaned.

Alistair tried again, descending and then sucking on the way up, and was pleasantly surprised at Zevran bucking his hips up in response.

Alistair’s lips stretched into a smile around his lover’s cock as he continued his oral ministrations for a few more minutes, before reaching out and grabbing the vial of slick they had been using. He slicked his fingers and slowly massaged Zevran’s entrance, slowly pushing in a finger. He continued to suck and lick Zevran’s erection as he slowly stretched and prepared the elf.

Alistair was truly relishing the taste of Zevran, enjoying the heavy weight against his tongue, while his fingers explored the assassin’s hot passage. All these new, erotic sensations had him rock hard and wanting.

Once Alistair had slid 3 fingers into his lover, Zevran was dangerously close to coming. “ _Mi amor_ , please. I am ready. Please, fuck me.”

Alistair looked up at Zevran as he slid his mouth off of the elf’s cock. “No.”

Zevran’s eyes went wide, not understanding for a moment. Alistair shifted so he knelt between Zevran’s legs, using his large hands to slowly push them apart so he could get better access. He then lined up his own aching erection and slowly sank into Zevran, as he leaned down to capture the elf’s lips in a passionate kiss.

“I will not fuck you tonight, Love,” Alistair said, full of newfound confidence, a sultry grin forming on his face. “I will make slow, sweet love to you, until you’re seeing stars and crying my name to the Maker himself.”

Zevran’s breath hitched at the words. “Oh my,” was all he could say as Alistair began to move, slow and surprisingly graceful. Alistair kept kissing Zevran, slow and sweet as he moved in and out of his lover in the same agonizing pace, relishing the tight heat around his cock.

“Maker Zev, you feel so good, so hot and tight” Alistair breathed as he trailed his kissing along the elf’s jawline, over to his sensitive ear. “I never imagined how good this could feel…”

Zevran’s hips began to move, arching into each of his lover’s thrusts, trying to take him deeper.

“ _Si_ , and you feel so good filling me. Please, _mi amor_ , please touch me,” Zevran practically begged.

Alistair angled his body higher and reached down to grab Zevran’s length in his large hand, stroking it in time with his slow thrusts while suckling on Zevran’s earlobe, making the elf keen in ecstasy.

“Love you, Zev,” Alistair said softly as he captured the elf’s mouth again.

They were both close to the edge, getting closer in agonizing degrees with the slow pace set by the warrior. Alistair broke their kiss and rested his forehead against Zevran’s, looking into the elf’s honey brown eyes, full blown with desire.

Zevran begged. “Faster. _Please_.”

Alistair couldn’t deny his plea, and began to speed up, both his thrusts and his strokes on Zevran’s cock, until he felt the elf arch his back and scream his name, hot cum splattering all over his hand. As Alistair felt the clench around his own cock his thrusts began to stutter and he roared his release as he spilled his seed deep within his lover.

Afterwards, Zevran was the first to get up and clean them both off with a wet cloth as Alistair lay there, reeling. He’d had some pretty amazing orgasms over the past few months with Zevran, but this one was…mind blowing.

Zevran curled up into Alistair’s embrace, kissing him softly. “ _Mi amor_ , you are welcome to make love to me like that any time. You are an amazing lover.”

Alistair smiled sleepily at Zevran. “I had an excellent teacher.”

***

The next morning the two awoke in each other’s arms and they had sleepy morning sex, Alistair taking Zevran again. They then wended their way down into the inn for lunch. While Alistair still suffered from his cravings, Zevran was working with him on trying to be around others drinking without having a relapse.

After breakfast they decided to go for their now daily stroll, wearing their armor and weapons in case they decided to spar later. They walked hand-in-hand down the dusty lane that led out of town, enjoying the gentle sea breeze blowing in from the nearby docks.

All of a sudden Zevran stopped, his sensitive elven ears twitching. “Be still, _mi amor_ ,” he warned with a whisper. Alistair immediately became wary, his hand reaching for his sword when almost without warning they were surrounded as an entire band of assassins unstealthed around them.

“ _Brasca_ ,” Zevran swore when he realized the men attacking them were Crows.

“You’re getting soft, Zevran,” the senior of the Crows sneered at him. “You should have moved on from here months ago.”

Zevran knew he was right. All this domestic bliss with Alistair had made him go soft. He should have known the Crows would be back.

Zevran was glad that he and Alistair had been sparring regularly, as Alistair’s moves were much more like they had been in the old days, his newfound self-confidence actually making him an even more effective fighter.

There were ten of them this time. Zevran didn’t like the odds, but he wasn’t going down without a fight. He stealthed and appeared behind their leader, quickly stabbing one knife into the man’s kidney while slicing deeply into his throat with the other.

One he’d cut the head off the snake, as it were, the fight felt much more favorable. It was clear some of the Crows they faced were green, perhaps out on their very first mission. It was almost a shame it would also be their last.

As Zevran began dispatching one Crow after another, Alistair was holding his own, slicing and thrusting with his sword, while blocking with his shield. He managed to fell three of his opponents before one of them got through an opening in his defenses, and was perilously close to sinking his blade into Alistair’s side when Zevran intervened and that Crow breathed his last breath.

Looking up they realized that all the Crows had been routed and they stood surrounded by blood and death. Sheathing their weapons they leaned on each other for a moment, catching their breaths.

Zevran grabbed Alistair’s wrist and urgently pulled the dazed warrior back towards the inn. “Come, _mi amor_. We must go back to the inn and pack. We shouldn’t linger here any longer,” Zevran announced.

Alistair nodded. He knew Zevran was right. It was too much to hope for a peaceful life as long as the Crows were hunting Zevran. On the way back towards the inn, Alistair asked. “Why don’t we go after them? They have kept you on the run for years now, right? Why not take the fight to them? Convince them it’s not worth hunting you anymore?”

Zevran contemplated Alistair’s words. He had been on the run for so long now, and being alone thought nothing of it. Now that he had Alistair in his life, the thought of being able to settle in one place seemed more appealing.

“You may be right, _mi amor_ ,” Zevran agreed. “It may be time to stop running and bring the fight to them.”

***

They packed quickly, Zevran fearing a second group of Crows may still be out there lurking for them. Whenever the Crows had zeroed in on him, they often sent multiple groups in, because the first group always failed to capture or kill him. He’s had to slip past their pathetic attempts to trap him, as the first group was mainly meant to wear him out. The Crows were still far too predictable, which had worked in Zevran’s favor.

Zevran was still cursing himself for not moving on sooner. They could have been long gone weeks ago and they really had no reason to linger. It had just felt really nice to not be on the run, for once.

They settled up what they owed the innkeeper, including a substantial bribe to try and ensure his silence when the next group of Crows came looking for them. Then they left out the front door, hoods pulled over their heads. Slipping out the back would have been too predictable.

Zevran debated between heading towards the docks and getting onto a ship, or to make their way towards Antiva City on foot. Either choice was dangerous now that the Crows had found him again. A sea voyage would be faster, if they could find a ship headed to Antiva City, and the Crows may not expect him to be as bold as to head right into the heart of their operation. Yet if there were any Crows aboard ship (which undoubtedly there would be), it would make the voyage itself risky.

Zevran led Alistair into a shady alleyway so they could discuss their plans.

“Which do you think? By sea or on foot?” Zevran asked Alistair.

“Where are we going, and how long would it take?” Alistair asked.

“If we are to take on the Crows head on, we should go to Antiva City, the seat of their power. It would take a day-and-a-half by boat, but several weeks on foot,” Zevran replied. “Either course is dangerous.”

“I don’t relish the idea of going back out to sea, but the faster we get this over with, the better,” Alistair said.

Zevran nodded and agreed. He led the way out towards the docks and they hid themselves behind some shipping crates as they looked at the available ships currently docked. A smile broke out on Zevran’s face when he recognized one of the captains on the dock. Pulling his hood closely over his face, he gestured for Alistair to do the same before stepping out from behind the crates and approaching the large man.

“Excuse me, Captain? Do you by chance sail for Antiva City?” Zevran whispered.

The man looked suspiciously at the two cloaked figures.

“Mayhaps I am, who’s askin’?” the captain replied.

Zevran gestured for the man to bend a bit closer to him, before he pushed back his hood enough for the man to recognize him. The captain’s eyes went wide in recognition and Zevran put a finger to his lips to indicate silence. Zevran whispered to the man. “Casavir, my old friend, I am in need to get back to Antiva City with all due haste and with the utmost discretion. May my friend and I book passage on your lovely vessel?”

Casavir nodded and straightened up while Zevran pulled his hood back down. The man waved over one of his crew. “Please escort these gentlemen to the VIP quarters.”

“Aye, aye Captain! This way gentlemen,” the crewman said, indicating the way.

Once Zevran and Alistair were settled in they both breathed a sigh of relief.

“So, how do you know this Captain Casavir, Love?” Alistair asked. “Not one of your former lovers, is he?”

“Why? Are you jealous _mi amor_?” Zevran smiled and shook his head. “I can’t believe you don’t remember Casavir. He was first mate to Captain Isabella. We met them at the Pearl back in Denerim during the last blight.”

Alistair thought for a moment before recognition crossed his features. “Oh! Yes…I suppose I do recall. He introduced us to his erstwhile captain, didn’t he? And then later you and Isabela disappeared for a while, as I recall…”

“Ah yes. I never was able to resist Isabela’s many charms back in those days,” Zevran said wistfully. “She’s actually in Kirkwall now, following around that fellow they call Hawke. I saw her just before finding you in that stinking hole they called a tavern.”

“Did you and she…erm?” Alistair asked.

“No. I no longer found her charms as alluring as I once did, and I turned down her rather pathetic advances,” Zevran said. “Since what occurred in Denerim, I no longer desired quick trysts like that, although I will admit I did avail myself of a whorehouse or two over the years.”

“Did you now?” Alistair teased. “Still needed a buxom whore to satisfy your need on occasion?”

Zevran blushed. “Ah, erm. No actually. I had something a bit more… _specific_ …in mind.”

“Oh, do tell,” Alistair quirked an eyebrow. “Please, love?”

Zevran was blushing quite furiously now. “Well, I seemed to have developed a taste only for male whores.”

Zevran began stalking towards Alistair as he began to describe in more detail. “They had to be tall. Strapping. Handsome. Strawberry blonde. Preferably looking a bit like the former King of Ferelden.”

By the time Zevran stopped he was right in front of Alistair. Alistair swallowed visibly. “Oh, so you were having fantasies about my dead half-brother?” Alistair attempted to joke.

“No, _mi amor_ ,” Zevran said. “I was having fantasies about you.”


	8. Voyage to Antiva

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zevran and Alistair sail to Anvita. Alistair confesses a long-held secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some fluffy and angsty moments and a bit of fluffy smutty bondage play (nothing too intense).

Before Zevran was able to finish his thought and drag Alistair into a kiss, a knock came at their cabin door. Zevran swore something in Antivan and stalked over to the door.

“Ah my dear Captain,” Zevran said full of charm again. “To what do we owe this visit?”

“Well I am giving you passage on my ship, Zevran,” Casavir said. “I would like to know why you’re in such a hurry to head back to Antiva. Don’t the Crows still want that pretty little head of yours?”

“ _Si_ , indeed they do,” Zevran acknowledged. “That is exactly why I’m heading back there.”

“You plan to hand yourself over to them?” Casavir asked. “That seems foolish.”

“No my dear Casavir, you misunderstand,” Zevran replied. “I plan to convince them I am no longer worth hunting.”

Casavir laughed. “Good luck with that, they are not that easy to convince.”

“My blades have always been very convincing, no?” Zevran suggested. “Either they leave me in peace, or every single Crow will drown in their own blood. I am tired of running, my old friend.”

Casavir nodded towards Alistair. “Is he why you’re tired of running?”

The tips of Zevran’s ears pinked. “I’m sure you remember Alistair,” Zevran said as introduction. “He was with us during the fifth blight. He is…or rather was…a Grey Warden.”

“Oh yeah, I do remember you Alistair,” Casavir said in greeting. “Didn’t the Warden exile you or something?”

Alistair frowned at the memory. “Something like that.”

“Man that was rough. I remember hearing about it, and I couldn’t believe it at first,” Casavir said apologetically. “You seemed thick as thieves when you came through the Pearl that one time.”

Alistair sighed. “Please, don’t remind me.”

Zevran went over to Alistair and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Hush, _mi amor_. It is in the past, where it belongs.”

Casavir’s mouth twisted into a knowing smile. “Ah, yes. He _is_ the reason you’re tired of running. Don’t worry I will deposit you safely in Antiva City. I have a few contacts there you may wish to make use of as well.”

Zevran inclined his head. “I would be appreciative of any help you could provide.”

“I’ve leave you two then. There are a couple of known Crows aboard, so I’d recommend you stay in your cabin for the duration trip,” Casavir said, turning to leave. “I’ll have your meals delivered, with a bottle of the finest Antivan brandy.”

Alistair’s face became panicked at the mention of brandy. Zevran shook his head. “No, please, no brandy. Just water would suffice.”

Casavir shrugged. “Suit yourself. Just water then. I’ll check on you both later after we’ve set sail.”

Alistair noticeably relaxed then, not realizing how tense he’d been. “Thank you, Love. I don’t think I’d survive being in the same room as an entire bottle of brandy.”

“I know, _mi amor_ ,” Zevran said. “Come, let us make ourselves more comfortable. Let me help you remove your armor.”

Zevran helped Alistair out of his leather armor, leaving him in his rough spun shirt and breaches. Zevran followed suit and carefully stowed their armor in a trunk provided in their cabin.

“At least we get to travel in relative luxury on this voyage,” Zevran winked at Alistair, sitting down on the bed and patting his hand next to him. “I think we will have to make some use of this large bed, yes?”

Alistair sat down next to Zevran, and pulled the smaller elf onto his lap. “Now, where were we?”

“I believe,” Zevran began, ghosting his lips over Alistair’s. “I was about to do this…”

Zevran pressed his lips to Alistair’s, snaking his hand around to the back of the warrior’s neck to pull him in for a deeper kiss. Alistair melted into the kiss, letting his lips part in silent invitation. Zevran’s tongue flicked out to lick his lover’s lips before plunging deeper into his warm, wet mouth.

Alistair groaned into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Zevran, enveloping the elf in his embrace. He kisses the rogue with hunger and passion.

After endless moments, Zevran pulled back slightly, studying his warrior’s face. He cupped the handsome face with one hand stroked his cheek, looking thoughtfully at the man he loved.

“What is it Zev?” Alistair asked, confusion crossing his handsome features.

“I was just thinking how lucky I am,” Zevran said gently. “I never imagined we’d ever be reunited, and most certainly not like this. You make my heart soar, _querido_.”

“I’m the lucky one, love,” Alistair blushed. “You literally saved my life back in Kirkwall. You’ve given me hope and purpose again. I love you so much for that. I will thank you for that every day until my Calling comes.”

Zevran looked confused. “Your Calling? What does this mean, _mi amor_?”

Alistair’s face fell. “Shit.”

“What is it? Please, share it with me,” Zevran said, taking both hands to tilt Alistair’s head back up to look at him.

“It…has to do with the fact I’m still a Grey Warden, no matter what Aedan says about it,” Alistair said. Taking a deep breath he continued. “You know that only Grey Wardens can kill an Archdemon, but we never tell anyone _why_.”

“So, tell me why, _mi amor_ ,” Zevran pressed. “…and why does this upset you so?”

Alistair explained the Joining, and how it was necessary for a Grey Warden to become tainted in order to defeat an Archdemon, and the eventual Calling as the taint slowly corrupted their blood.

Zevran’s heart caught in his throat. “How much longer do you have, _mi amor_?”

“I’m not entirely sure,” Alistair shrugged. “Possibly another twenty years.”

 _Twenty years_. To Zevran that sounded like an impossibly short amount of time. Tears began to well, unbidden, in his eyes. Zevran curled himself around Alistair, holding him tight.

“Shit,” Alistair said again. “I’m sorry Zev. I didn’t mean for you to find out like this.”

Zevran took a deep breath. “No. It’s good that I know. We will make the most of the next twenty years. This makes me even more determined to get the Crows off my back, once-and-for-all.”

Alistair pulled Zevran into another embrace. “Don’t worry, we’ll get those bastards once and for all.”

“I know, _mi amor_ ,” Zevran said softly. “With you at my side, I feel we can accomplish anything.”

“Do you have a plan in mind yet?” Alistair asked.

“I was thinking of using a fairly direct approach,” Zevran said. “I will start assassinating Crows, one-by-one. Preferably higher ranking ones, the ones who are signing the orders to hunt me. I hope once I take out enough of them, eventually they will want to reconsider their policy in regards to me.”

“What if you get caught?” Alistair asked.

“Don’t worry, _mi amor_ ,” Zevran said. “I will not get caught. I know all the Crow tricks, yes? I can beat them at their own game.”

All of a sudden the ship seemed to lurch, throwing Zevran back into Alistair’s waiting arms. Zevran blushed. “Ah, it seems we have set sail.”

Not long after the ship had set sail, Casavir indeed came back to check on them and had some food and water delivered. “Come my friends, you must be hungry.”

“ _Si_ , actually I’m famished after the day we’ve had,” Zevran acknowledged. “Your generous hospitality is much appreciated.”

Casavir laughed. “Not too generous, I hope. You did promise to pay, did you not?”

“Quite right, I did. Alistair, can you please pay our good captain?” Zevran asked as he tucked into a plate of stew.

“Oh, right,” Alistair said, rummaging through their bags to look for their coin purse. He pulled out several gold sovereigns and handed them to Casavir. “That should about cover it, I hope?”

Casavir smiled broadly. “Yes that will cover the voyage and meals nicely. Are you sure you don’t want any brandy or wine?”

Zevran firmly shook his head. “No, Captain. Thank you but we will not be imbibing on this voyage.”

“Suit yourself. That leave more for myself and my men,” Casavir shrugged. “I’ll have another jug of water brought to you in a few hours.”

“Thank you so much, Casavir,” Zevran nodded. “Your assistance is appreciated.”

Casavir once again excused himself and Alistair went to lock their cabin door. He then sat down and hungrily attacked his plate of stew and some of the bread that was brought along with it, not realizing until then how hungry he’d become.

After they were done eating Zevran gently stroked Alistair’s hand on the table as they finished the jug of water they were given. Neither spoke but Zevran began making suggestive looks at the warrior, making him blush.

“Alright Zev, stop teasing me with those bedroom eyes of yours,” Alistair said.

“Only if you tell me it’s working,” Zevran said, waggling his eye brows.

“If you mean are you making me hard by just staring at me…” Alistair blushed and looked away, before getting a cheeky grin on his face. “I…don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Zevran practically tackled the large man off his chair and pushed him to the floor before straddling him where he lay. “You don’t know what I’m talking about, hmm?” Zevran teased, before finding all his lover’s ticklish spots, tickling the large man mercilessly. Alistair practically screamed with glee, not unlike a little girl, trying to wriggle away from the impetuous elf.

Soon they were both on the ground, laughing hard and Alistair pulled Zevran into an embrace, kissing the elf on the cheek. “Maker Zev, I don’t remember the last time I laughed like that.”

Zevran got up and pulled Alistair up with him, pulling him towards the bed. “Now, _mi amor_ , I think it is time for some more… _serious_ endeavors, yes?”

Alistair didn’t need to be asked twice as he pulled Zevran into another embrace, leaning down to brush his lips against the rogue’s. Zevran got a mischievous look in his eye. “Strip for me, mi amor.”

“Um, ok.” Alistair said, removing his shirt, breaches and small clothes.

“Lie on the bed, I wish to try something.” Zevran purred. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course I trust you Zev,” Alistair said as he lay down on his back.

“Turn over, on your stomach please,” Zevran said, twirling his finger to indicate that he flip over.

“Alright,” Alistair said, wondering what Zevran was up to.

“One moment, _mi amor_ ,” Zevran said, as he went over to their packs, looking for some items. He brought back their vial of oil, a length of rope and a silk scarf.

“Wh…what is all that for?” Alistair asked nervously.

“Ah, just a little something to help enhance the pleasure my dear Alistair,” Zevran purred. “That is if you are willing to try it?”

“Well…I trust you, love,” Alistair said again, feeling his cock twitch with interest as Zevran began playing with the length of rope. “Sure, let’s try it.”

“That’s my brave warrior,” Zevran whispered, as he pulled Alistair’s arms gently behind him and secured them with the length of rope. Not too tight, just enough to restrict movement. “Is this alright?”

“Yes, alright so far,” Alistair nodded, his breath coming in excited pants.

Next Zevran tied the scarf over Alistair’s eyes. “This will help you focus on the pleasure of our love making, _mi amor_.”

Alistair’s cock was taking serious interest now and he just nodded, his heart beating faster in his chest. Then he heard the rustle of clothes as Zevran was probably stripping himself bare, before the bed dipped behind him.

“I wish you up on your knees, ass in the air, but with your shoulders down,” Zevran asked. “Can you do that for me?”

Alistair tried, it was awkward with his arms bound behind him, but he finally managed to get his knees under himself and his ass presented to Zevran.

“Beautiful, mi amor,” Zevran crooned. “Always so good for me.”

Alistair didn’t know why but the praise made him feel good, and a warm feeling flushed over him.

“Now, _mi amor_ , relax and enjoy this,” Zevran practically whispered, as he gently stroked Alistair’s buttocks, massaging them gently before parting them and revealing Alistair’s rear passage. Before he knew it, Alistair could feel Zevran’s warm, wet tongue circling around the pucker.

“Oh, Zev,” Alistair exclaimed. “Oh that’s _good_.” The sensations seemed…enhanced because his sight was taken away. Zevran was right when he said this would heighten his pleasure.

Zevran kept licking gently, slowly increasing the pressure of his tongue until he breached the entrance with the tip. Alistair groaned with pleasure. “Oh yes Zev. Oh I need…more. Please.” Alistair could feel Zevran smile and he slowly removed his tongue, leaving Alistair whimpering.

“You beg so prettily, _mi amor_ ,” Zevran said, as he unstoppered the vial of oil, drizzling some onto Alistair’s needy hole, before slicking up his fingers. He slowly slid a finger inside Alistair, causing the larger man to moan loudly. Alistair was starting to cant his hips back, trying to take more of Zevran’s finger, but Zevran firmly grasped his hip and prevented further movement. “Patience, you will get what you need.”

Slowly Zevran began to move his finger in and out of Alistair’s tight heat, making his warrior beg and plead for more. Slowly he added a second and finally a third finger, making sure Alistair was properly prepared for him.

“Now, _mi amor_ ,” Zevran purred as he removed his fingers and slicked up his aching length. “I wish to try and make love to you until you cum, completely untouched. Do you think you can do that for me? Can you cum just from my _pene_ in your _culo_?”

“Zev! I just need you… _please_ …need you so bad,” Alistair moaned in desperation.

Zevran granted Alistair his wish, pushing to the hilt in one long, smooth slide, before grasping Alistair by his bound arms for leverage and thrusting in and out slowly, angling to hit Alistair’s prostrate on every thrust.

“ _Oh Maker_ , oh yes, that’s what I need,” Alistair cried.

Zevran smiled to himself as he slowly began to pound Alistair’s ass harder and faster, making sure to hit that spot, sending jolts of pleasure through Alistair. “Do you love being filled with my cock, _mi amor_?”

“Ahhh…Zev…yes…yes…love your cock… _Maker yes_!” Alistair continued to cry out with every thrust. “Oh Maker, I’m close. So close.  Let me cum, _please_.”

“Then cum for me, _mi amor_. Just like this. Cum just from my cock in your ass,” Zevran commanded.

Zevran increased his speed to a punishing pace, struggling to hold back his own orgasm until Alistair came undone beneath him. Another moment and Alistair screamed out his release as he shot all over the covers of their bed. Feeling his lover cum finally undid Zevran and he roared his own release, filling Alistair with his seed.

The two collapsed onto the bed, breathing hard. It took a moment for Zevran to recover so he could start to unbind Alistair’s arms and remove the blindfold. When he did, Alistair grabbed him and kissed him fiercely. “Maker Zev, that was… _incredible_. And I thought sex couldn’t possibly get better.”

“Growing up in a whore house did have its advantages,” Zevran winked.


	9. Confronting the Crows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zevran and Alistair become a thorn in the Crows side. After several weeks, the Crows are finally ready to strike a bargain with their wayward assassin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mind the tags. The Crows don't let go of Zevran quite so easily.

Alistair and Zevran arrived in Antiva City without incident. Cloaked and hooded, they slunk of the ship and disappeared into the crowds. Zevran procured them a room at an inn Zevran knew. They were known for not asking questions.

“So, what’s the plan, Love?” Alistair asked once they had settled in.

“The same as we discussed before. I need to scout the movements of the Crows in this part of the city,” Zevran said. “Then I can better assess what we need to do. Ultimately, I wish to pick off as many Crows as possible, especially higher ranking ones, until I get the leadership’s full attention.”

Alistair looked at Zevran skeptically. “Won’t that lead them right to us? Is that wise?”

Zevran shrugged. “Wise? No. It is quite foolish. However, I am tired of running and it’s not fair to you either. I intend to make a stand, once and for all.”

“Yes, Love, I know, but isn’t there a better way?” Alistair asked, reaching out to pull Zevran closer. “I don’t want to lose you now.”

Zevran shook his head. “I have thought on this during our voyage and I can think of no other solution. Either I kill every Crow until they stop coming after me, or I die trying.”

Alistair sighed, placing a kiss on Zevran’s forehead. “Alright Love, if you really can’t think of a better plan.”

“I am sure the Crows already know we’re here,” Zevran warned. “We shall remain here until after nightfall and then we should go hunt them before they come hunting for us.”

Alistair nodded. “Then perhaps we should try and get some rest before then. Will you come cuddle with me?” Alistair said looking at Zevran with puppy dog eyes.

Zevran sighed. “ _Si, mi amor_ , I will cuddle with you. You Fereldens really are like big, hairless dogs.”

Alistair huffed as the elf lay down onto the bed with him, wrapping himself around the smaller elf. “I’m not _that_ hairless…” Alistair grumbled as he fell into a dreamless slumber.

***

That evening they made their way through the dark alleyways of Antiva City. Zevran knew the Crows routines well and by midnight they had come across and killed three Crows. All low-level operatives. No one particularly noteworthy.

Then, just after midnight, Zevran led Alistair towards a small hovel at the edge of town. This was a known hideout for the Crows, as far as Zevran could recall. Often a higher level Crow would be within, waiting to hand out the latest names of targets to the newer operatives. When Zevran and Alistair burst in, there was indeed a senior Crow with three operatives.

The operatives were so green, Zevran and Alistair had dispatched two before the other two even had time to draw their weapons. Zevran turned and disarmed the third operative and slit his throat with deadly efficiency while Alistair moved to confront the senior Crow.

“I was just informed you had returned, Zevran,” the crow greeted the elf while parrying a cut from Alistair’s sword. “You will be dead within the week, mark my words.”

Zevran was upon the man within seconds, deftly plunging his daggers into his heart while he was fending off another attack from Alistair. “Oh I think not, Alano. I think it is you who shall be dead, yes?”

As Zevran pulled his daggers out, he slit open the man’s throat for good measure. “That is for all the times you put me on the rack,” Zevran growled, spitting on the dead Crow at his feet.

Alistair gulped audibly at Zevran’s uncharacteristic anger. “Are you alright, Love?”

Zevran came back to himself and looked apologetically at Alistair. “I’m sorry, _mi amor_. I forgot you were there for a moment. This…man…he was one of the Crows who… _trained_ me.” Zevran spat the words with vehemence. He then went to rummage through the bodies and through the rest of the small hut, looting every coin he could find. They would live well while they were here, and Zevran had hopes of outfitting himself with some new Antivan leather armor. All paid for by the courtesy of the Crows, of course.

As they made their way back out into the dark, they slipped quietly towards an old safe house Zevran knew of. It wasn’t a Crow safe house either, but one Zevran had found on his own as a new operative. He had made a note of it in case he ever needed a place to hide out. Accessing it wasn’t easy, as it required the ability to clamber up onto a roof and locate a hidden switch that unlocked the equally hidden doorway. Zevran did so expertly before coming back down and leading Alistair within.

The small room they found themselves in looked untouched since Zevran first found it, based on the layers of dust everywhere. Zevran busied himself with lighting the lantern that sat on a crate, still half-full with oil. Then the two of them spent some time clearing off some of the dust before laying out their bedrolls upon the floor.

Zevran had also packed a water skin and absconded with some bread earlier that day, and he and Alistair took some sustenance before getting some much needed rest.

“So,” began Alistair. “Can we talk about what happened back there?”

Zevran looked at him nonchalantly. “What do mean? We killed a room full of Crows. That is what happened.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Alistair said seriously. “You clearly knew the one Crow and from what you said it sounded like he may have tortured you. Is that true?”

 Zevran took a deep breath. “You know of my past, how I was raised in a whorehouse and sold to the Crows at age seven. For _three_ gold sovereigns.”

Alistair nodded.

“What you do not know is the methods the Crows employ to… _train_ …their new… _recruits_ ,” Zevran said cautiously.

“Do you mean they use torture?” Alistair said in shock.

“ _Si_ ,” Zevran nodded. “Taliesin and I were the only two, from a group of eighteen, to survive the training.”

“Oh Maker,” Alistair said, getting closer to Zevran, drawing the elf into a comforting embrace. “I always knew you were tough but…I had no idea.”

Zevran melted into his lovers arms. “No, no one does.” For the first time since he was a very small boy, Zevran allowed himself to cry, while Alistair held him gently and whispered loving reassurances. When they finally lay down to sleep, Alistair knew now, more than ever, that the Crows had to pay for what they’d done. For what they were still doing, undoubtedly.

***

Over the next several weeks they kept striking at the Crows and then disappearing into the night, back to Zevran’s secret safe house. At first the Crows were clearly angered by Zevran’s brashness, and they had doubled their patrols looking for them.

However, if gossip were to be believed, after all these weeks and all the Crows they had taken down, the Crows were actually getting _nervous_. Zevran wondered if they were regretting yet how well they’d trained him.

Every night it was the same, at least five Crows met their end at Zevran and Alistair’s blades. This couldn’t go on much longer without the Crows calling in field operatives from outside Antiva City.

Then about a month after they arrived in Antiva City, the Crows found a way to get a message to Zevran through a trusted vendor. They wanted to talk. Naturally Zevran smelled a trap and he set the conditions of this talk. It would occur at high noon at the center of the busiest marketplace in Antiva City, and there should be no more than three Crows in attendance. Now Zevran knew they wouldn’t hold to that part of the bargain, but he at least had to try. Thankfully with Alistair at his side, back in fit fighting form, they should be able to handle a larger group if it became necessary.

When the morning of the meeting arrived, Alistair paced nervously in their small, secret hideaway. “Are you sure about this, Love?”

Zevran nodded. “I knew it would only be a matter of time before I got their attention. I think my terms are reasonable. If they stop hunting me, I stop killing them. That is only fair, yes?”

Alistair pulled the elf into an embrace. “Fair and reasonable, yes, but will they accept?”

“They have no choice, _mi amor_. With you at my side, we are unstoppable!” Zevran said with a laugh.

“Yes, go ahead and laugh on our way to our own funeral,” Alistair deadpanned. “What was it you used to say…?”

“We are ridiculously awesome!” Zevran shouted, smiling broadly.

Alistair pulled him into a brief kiss. “Yes, that. You were always a _bit_ overconfident.”

They made their way towards the marketplace early, Alistair remaining heavily cloaked and Zevran disappearing entirely into the crowd, ostensibly to assess how large of a force the Crows were planning to _surprise_ them with.

When the time came they both strode together towards the center of the market. Alistair inquired as to what Zevran had discovered. “I could find no more than five Crows within close proximity. This is…very odd.”

Alistair had to agree.

As they approached the center of the market place, three Crows approached while two others, in plain view, hung back in the crowds.

Zevran approached the leader, bowing his head in respect. “Master Raúl,” Zevran said. “It has been a…long time.”

 

“Indeed it has, Zevran,” the man acknowledged. “I hear you have been giving the Crows a difficult time of late. You got our attention, what do you intend to do with it?”

 

“I come to make the Crows an offer,” Zevran said plainly. “Stop this endless pursuit of me, and I will stop killing your men. It’s as simple as that.”

 

Raúl chuckled. “Oh no, my dear Zevran. It will never be as simple as that,” the Crow Master said. “You failed in your mission and you failed to die trying to fix it. Then you had the audacity to try and leave our little _organization_. You knew the consequences of such a decision.”

 

“Si, I did,” Zevran admitted, “But don’t you think after all these years it’s time to end this?”

 

“Oh certainly,” Raúl said. “However you still need to be made an example of. We have a counter-proposal for you. Submit to a public flogging. Right here, right now. Fifty lashes from the whip and ten from the cane. If you can endure this, we will trouble you no further.”

 

For a brief moment Zevran stiffened as he contemplated their offer. Could he endure such a punishment? If it meant that he and Alistair could leave in peace? Absolutely.

Zevran nodded. “ _Si_ , I agree to your terms, however I want this in writing and sealed in blood.” Zevran knew the Crows would never violate a blood contract.

Alistair cried out. “Zevran! No!”

Zevran turned and looked at his lover. “Do not worry, _mi amor_. I can endure this, if it means we will finally be left in peace.”

Raúl brought out an already written contract, anticipating Zevran’s demand. Zevran read it carefully and found no loopholes. He then slit a fingertip and placed a bloody print upon the document. Handing it back to Raúl as the Crow Master did the same.

When the contract was signed in blood, the other crows in attendance went to bring out a wooden cross, securing it into a conveniently placed hole in the market square, as if this wasn’t the first time a public whipping had taken place here. Zevran then approached and allowed then to remove his armor, stripping him completely naked. If they sought to humiliate him, they would be disappointed.

He was secured to the cross by his wrists, ankles, elbows, knees and neck. Alistair wailed in despair and two of the Crows forced Alistair to kneel, securing him to prevent him from stopping the proceedings.

Raúl sneered at the man. “You will watch as your traitorous lover is beaten to within an inch of his life. If you close your eyes, I may feel the need to begin again.”

Zevran roared at hearing those words. “No! Leave him out of this! That was not in the contract.”

“True, but there was also nothing in the contract to state I couldn’t force your Ferelden dog lord to watch,” Raúl snickered.

Then a Crow handed Raúl a whip. “You will count them, Zevran,” he said before he began.

Then the whip began to crack, hard and cruel across Zevran’s back. Each lash was laid down just so in order to break the skin. As Zevran counted, Alistair wailed and flinched at each new mark. Soon Zevran’s back was slick with blood.

By the time the fiftieth lash hit, Zevran’s voice was weak and strained, and Alistair was shaking from sobs. Next, one of the Crows handed Raúl a wicked looking cane.

“Just ten from the cane and you can walk free Zevran,” Raúl said darkly. “Just don’t forget to count.”

The cane was aimed at Zevran’s arse, and came down cruelly. Zevran’s will was faltering and he cried out before counting. At the sound of his strangled cry, Alistair nearly collapsed if it weren’t for the two Crows holding him up, forcing him to watch.

By the fifth lash from the cane, Zevran’s voice came out barely a whisper and Raúl taunted him to speak up. By the tenth lash, Zevran’s voice was nearly gone entirely.

“Zevran Aranai, as per the terms of our blood contract, I hereby release you of your obligations to the Crows,” Master Raúl said loud enough for the crowd around them to hear. “The Crows will not hunt you or take any jobs that lead to your assassination. You are free.”

The Crows then cut Zevran down from the cross, and left him crumpled upon the cobblestones that were smeared red with his blood. They then released Alistair who ran over to his lover in a complete panic, not sure exactly what to do.

Once Zevran had recovered his voice somewhat he croaked. “Gather my armor and help me put on my breeches. Then I will direct you to the closest healer.”

“Alright, Love,” Alistair did as Zevran asked, tears still streaming down his face. Once Zevran was half-way decent, they made their way to the healer, who hurriedly escorted them inside. Zevran knew this healer was an apostate mage of renowned skill. He would be able to get Zevran fixed up faster than a more conventional healer could, with their salves and bandages.

It took a couple of hours and several lyrium potions, for the healer to complete his work, there had just been so much damaged tissue on Zevran’s back and arse to repair.

The healer also gave Zevran several potions and he was paid handsomely for his service. By the time they left Zevran was looking much more like his old self again, albeit more withdrawn than normal. He may have not let the Crows see the extent of it, but that whipping had affected him more than he was willing to let on.

***

It took a week for Zevran to recover from his ordeal, spending much of it wrapped in the arms of his lover, weeping softly. Zevran and Alistair spent most of their time in bed, while Zevran finally talked about all of the abuses he suffered since he was a child. That final punishment from the Crows had broken the wall he’d built around himself and he was finally able to tell Alistair about it. It felt good to finally have someone to share his pain with.

A week after Zevran had finally found himself free of the Crows, or at least so he hoped, he and Alistair once again booked passage aboard a ship. They decided to head for Orlais and hoped to find a small house near a settlement. Zevran could sell his skills as a rogue and Alistair as a warrior, and in-between they could enjoy the peace and quiet of the Orlesian countryside.

***

They’ve lived in Orlais for six months now. The small hut at the edge of the smaller village has become their home. Alistair learned he enjoys being domestic, gardening, cooking, even cleaning, when he isn’t out earning some coin with the edge of his sword. Zevran tries to help around the hut but Alistair insists on pampering him, so Zevran insists on at least doing the hunting.

Alistair can’t remember ever being so completely…content.


	10. The End...or a New Beginning?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Calling plagues Alistair, and they receive a surprise visit at a most opportune moment.

Time passes as its wont to do, and one night, without warning, Alistair began to hear the Calling. He sat up suddenly in the middle of the night crying. “ _No, no, no, no…_ ”

 “What is it, _mi amor_ ,” Zevran asked sleepily, “Did you have a nightmare?”

Alistair shook his head. “No. It’s worse than that…it’s…the Calling.”

Zevran was immediately awake at those words. “How can this be? You told me after I rescued you in Kirkwall you had at least twenty years. It has not been more than…seven or eight now, yes?”

“I…I don’t know…but I know I hear it. Zev, I’m scared. I’m not ready to go,” Alistair shrank into Zevran’s arms, sobbing.

“Shh, _mi amor_. Perhaps this is something else? How long do you think you have before…?” Zevran asked.

“I…I don’t know. Duncan never told me anything and Riordan gave us some vague details before…Aedan’s betrayal,” Alistair said softly, trying to hold back his sobs.

“What if we seek out other Grey Wardens?” Zevran suggested. “Do you think they could tell you?”

Alistair shrugged. “I don’t know if they’d even want to talk to me, not since I got kicked out of the order.”

“Did Aedan even have the right to do so?” Zevran asked. “Wasn’t Riordan the senior Warden?”

Alistair shook his head. “I don’t know. I never cared to find out, either.”

“Well, perhaps we need to make a trip to this Weisshaupt fortress, yes?” Zevran suggested. “Perhaps there we will find some answers.”

***

They traveled to Weisshaupt, while the song in Alistair’s head grew steadily louder. As they traveled they began coming across Fade rifts, pouring out demons. The more demons they fought, the more would come to replace them. Finally they had to abandon all hope and make a run for it.

Once they reached the famed Grey Warden fortress, they found it nearly abandoned, learning only that the other Wardens had also heard the Calling. Even the newly Joined. Alistair took a small comfort that it wasn’t just him, that it wasn’t truly his time, not just yet.

So they returned home and tried to wait out whatever was happening, as they kept an eye on the large rift in the sky. Saving the world was someone else’s problem this time around. Another year came and went before it seemed it was finally closed for good, and the false Calling ended as abruptly as it began.

Life after that returned to normal again.

***

Twelve years passed with relative swiftness. Alistair and Zevran shared laughter and tears under the roof of their small home. Through their adventures they had accumulated enough wealth to live comfortably and so they rarely sold their time and blades anymore. Blessedly the Crows kept their end of the contract and left the pair of them alone.

When the true Calling finally came, they were more prepared, even if Alistair was still in no way ready for it. His body and mind were still strong and it seemed so profoundly _unfair_. He chose not to descend into the Deep Roads, as was customary. He was no longer a Grey Warden, despite being blighted by their taint. He would spend as much time as he had left with Zevran, making the elf promise to bring him to a swift and painless end when the time came.

Alistair lasted longer than most, fighting the Calling with every fiber of his being, but after six months it became clear he was losing the battle. His skin was a pale grey, the dark circles under his eyes looked almost as if he’d rubbed too much kohl under them. His breathing was labored and clearly the transformation into a ghoul would a painful one.

Alistair still had his mind, despite his body slowly succumbing. One night they finally agreed it was time to say goodbye. Alistair and Zevran spent that last night entwined in each other. Despite his condition, Alistair insisted that Zevran make love to him, _one last time_. Zevran did, slow and sweet, while tears streamed down his handsome features, kissing Alistair as if this were their last night together.

The next morning, Zevran washed Alistair carefully from head to toe, and dressed him in his finest leather armor.  He tried not to cry as his heart clenched every time he touched his beloved. Zevran straddled Alistair then, caressing his pale cheeks. Kissing him over and over, not wanting to let him go. Alistair not wanting to go, but knowing it was time. If they waited much longer he’d be a ghoul and his death would be far less dignified.

“Are you ready, _mi amor_?” Zevran said softly drawing the dagger he’d sharpened especially. He wanted to make sure Alistair would make it to the Maker’s side as quickly and painlessly as possible.

Alistair nodded. “Promise me one thing, Love.”

“Anything for you, _mi amor_ ,” Zevran said, his voice cracking, holding back his tears.

“Don’t follow me to the Maker’s side too soon,” Alistair said, his voice choking with emotion. “Please live, for me?”

Zevran nodded. “I promise. For you. Only for you.”

Zevran then positioned his blade at the best angle to pierce the heart. It was a practiced move, one he’d done more times than he could count back when he’d been a Crow.

“Goodbye, _mi amor_ ,” Zevran said, as he poised to strike.

Just at that moment the door to their hut burst open and someone cried “Stop!!”

Zevran and Alistair both looked startled at the hooded figure standing in their doorway. “Who?”

The tall figure came closer and lowered his hood. Alistair’s eyes widened in shock. “Aedan?!”

“Zevran, for Maker’s sake get off of him,” Aedan said, breathing heavily, as if he’d just run a long distance. “No one need die today.”

Alistair weakly pushed himself up and Zevran gently assisted. “What’s the meaning of this? Come to extend my suffering even further, _your highness_?” Alistair spat the final words.

Aedan slid to his knees beside their bed, tears streaming down his face. “Oh Maker, I fucked things up so bad. I am so sorry Alistair. You have no idea how sorry I am.”

Alistair tried sitting up fully, as Aedan looked up at Alistair with tear stained eyes. “Thank the Maker I was in time,” he said as Alistair raised his hand and slapped him as hard as his weakened state allowed.

Aedan was rocked backwards and he cradled the slapped cheek. “I deserved that. I deserve so much more…”

“So, are you going to tell us what you are doing here? Or do you prefer to keep babbling like an idiot?” Zevran asked pointedly.

Aedan fished a vial from a pouch at his hip and handed it to Alistair. “I found it. I found a cure!”

“A cure?” Alistair asked incredulously.

“A cure, for the taint, the Calling, all of it,” Aedan said, beaming.

“Wait, what? Is that even possible?” Alistair stared at the vial in his hand.

“Yes. I searched for it for years and finally found it. Then I started searching for you again,” Aedan said sadly. “You are a very difficult man to find Alistair Theirin.”

“Don’t,” Alistair said darkly. “Don’t use _that name_ around me. Because of you it means _nothing_.”

Aedan shook his head. “No, Alistair. It means everything. It is your birthright and it should have been your legacy. I…fucked things up so badly at the landsmeet. I stole that from you. I really am so sorry.”

“What are you talking about? You got everything you wanted,” Alistair said angrily.

Aedan shook his head. “No, I didn’t.”

“You spared Loghain, married Anora, took the throne for yourself, and had me exiled,” Alistair began raising his voice. “What _more_ did you want from me!?”

“Nothing. I didn’t want any of it, you daft git,” Aedan said in frustration. “Will you shut up and let me explain? Please?”

Alistair glared at him. “Well, go on then.”

“I did all that because I was…I was trying to get you to fight for what was yours,” Aedan said with a sigh. “I didn’t realize how…broken you still were. How vulnerable. You…you just gave up and I didn’t know what else to do. I let you go, thinking I would come after you after the Archdemon was taken care of. I just didn’t want you to die.”

Alistair stared at his former friend in shock.

“I tried to find you but then I had to fight with Ferelden nobility about my so-called engagement to Anora,” Aedan said. “Loghain died when he killed the Archdemon and I just abdicated, giving Anora the throne. I was named Warden-Commander of Ferelden and before I could gather enough Grey Warden forces to come find you, we had more Darkspawn troubles.”

Aedan took a breath before continuing.

 “Once those troubles were over, the Grey Wardens were once again nearly annihilated and I had to rebuild the forces again,” Aeden said. “Once we had enough troops, your trail had gone cold.”

“So, what? You’ve been looking for me for twenty years to tell me you’re sorry? That you were just trying _tough love w_ ith me? I was all prepared to accept the Ferelden throne, despite my misgivings, but not if Loghain lived,” Alistair shouted.

“We needed a sacrifice Alistair,” Aedan sighed. “I found out from Riordan just before the Landsmeet and I would have told you if I had been able to find you. The reason a Grey Warden is needed to kill an Archdemon is because of the taint in our blood, but whoever strikes the killing blow makes the ultimate sacrifice. The Grey Warden that fells an Archdemon must die.”

“So? There were three of us already,” Alistair said more calmly. “We didn’t need Loghain.”

Aedan slumped. “I…I know. I am sorry. I was just desperate to keep you safe.”

Alistair narrowed his eyes. “Why? Why were you _so desperate_ to keep me safe?”

Aedan looked up with tearful eyes. “Because, Alistair. I loved you. And I really, really fucked that up.”

“You, what!?” Alistair and Zevran both said simultaneously.

Alistair laid back down, not knowing what to think. Zevran looked at Aedan pointedly.

“So you finally come waltzing back into Alistair’s life, for what? Give him the cure? Or were you hoping for more?” Zevran eyed the human suspiciously.

Aedan shook his head. “No, I always knew Alistair wasn’t interested in me, or in men, so all I wanted to do was make it in time to halt his Calling and cure him before he turned into a ghoul. Knowing Alistair would be able to live out the rest of his natural life would be enough for me.”

Alistair chuckled. The chuckle quickly became a full-on laugh. “Tell…tell him Zev.”

Aedan looked at Alistair and then back at Zevran. “Tell me what?”

Zevran took one of Alistair’s hands in his. “You were wrong about…Alistair’s proclivities.”

“Wait…are you two… _together_?!” Aedan said in shock. “How? When?”

“It’s been…nearly twenty years now I think, isn’t that right _mi amor_?” Zevran asked.

“Yeah, sounds about right,” Alistair said, sitting up once more, still chuckling. “Zevran found me in Kirkwall and saved me from myself. We got together not long after that and we’ve been together ever since.”

“That was Zevran?!” Aedan shook his head. “I’d sent Tegan after a lead we had, saying you were in Kirkwall, but when he’d gotten there you were gone. The last anyone had seen of you, was with some blond elf. I should have known that was you Zev.”

Alistair eyed the vial in his hand. “So…does this really work?”

Aedan nodded. “Please, take it. I promise I’m not trying to poison you or anything. You should be right as rain within a day or so.”

Alistair shrugged. “Well even if it does kill me, it doesn’t matter, as long as it’s not painful. I’d have been dead already if you hadn’t come barging in like you did.” Alistair unstoppered the vial and downed its contents in one gulp.

“Blech,” Alistair complained. “That tastes pretty vile.”

“Now lie back, _mi amor_ ,” Zevran instructed, slowly removing Alistair’s leather armor to help him be more comfortable. “Let’s give this cure a chance to work, yes?”

Alistair nodded and lay back once the top half of his armor was removed and he allowed Zevran to remove the rest, leaving him in a rough spun shirt and breeches. “Stay with me, Love?”

“Of course,” Zevran nodded, sitting next to Alistair, holding his hands until he slowly drifted to sleep.

Aedan remained quiet, watching the pair together. Seeing how gently Zevran was taking care of his lover. He shook his head in disbelief. He was filled with so many regrets. He’d made so many mistakes and there was no way to go back and fix them.

Once Alistair was asleep Zevran escorted Aedan out to the front of their little hut and sat on a bench they had set up to the side of the front door.

“So, Aedan, why did you not tell me of all this back in Denerim after the Landsmeet? I could have gone after Alistair and helped you fix it,” Zevran said with a sigh. “I thought you as monstrous as Alistair did for what you had done.”

Aedan looked apologetic. “It’s probably because I never fully trusted you Zev, and you know exactly why. I had no idea if you would betray me to the Crows one day or not. Speaking of which, are they still hunting you?”

Zevran shook his head. “No. I took care of that problem years ago.”

“How?” Aedan asked.

“Let’s just say, my blades were _very_ convincing,” Zevran smirked. Aedan chuckled.

Zevran looked at Aedan, studying his features. “I must thank you for your very timely arrival,” Zevran said gratefully. “I was just about to…” Zevran’s eyes welled with tears yet again.

“Hey…I know. I should have had my Calling as well, if it weren’t for the cure I found,” Aedan said. “Once I found it, I began looking for Alistair. I just had no idea that you two…”

“I once believed as you did,” Zevran smiled at the memory. “That Alistair’s interest only lay with the fairer sex. But when I found him in Kirkwall and took him away from there…some very interesting developments occurred. By the time we’d made it to Rivain, we’d confessed our feelings for each other and the rest, as they say, is history.”

“Well I hope you’ve been happy together,” Aedan said and then looked up as if remembering something. “What did you do during the time of the rifts?”

“Ah yes, the false Calling. We actually went all the way to Weisshaupt and found out it was false. That all Wardens were hearing it. So we came back home and waited it out,” Zevran shrugged. “Eventually we learned what had happened, about Corypheus and everything else.”

“So, now what will you do? Alistair should still have many good years left ahead of him,” Aedan asked.

Zevran shrugged. “We have been very happy in this little home we’ve made for ourselves. The town and Tavern are not far if we long for the sight of other faces, and otherwise we just enjoy each other’s company.”

Aedan nodded. “I never settled down with anyone. I was too focused on wanting to fix this with Alistair and to find this cure. Now that I’ve done both…I don’t know what I’ll do.”

Zevran looked at the former Grey Warden. “I’ll have to speak with Alistair about this first. He has long nursed his wounds from that day he thought you betrayed him. However, if he is amenable, perhaps you could…just remain here?”

Aedan looked at Zevran in shock. “You would be alright with that?”

Zevran nodded. “As long as Alistair is.”

“…aaaannnd Alistair needs to think about it first.” Alistair said standing by the doorway. The color seemed to already be slowly coming back to his pallid skin.

Zevran jumped up. “ _Mi amor_! You should be lying down,” Zevran fussed.

“I’ve been doing a lot of lying down the last six-months,” Alistair said gently, cupping Zevran’s face, leaning in for a quick kiss. “I am already feeling better and I’d like some fresh air, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course,” Zevran said. “Come, sit.”

Alistair sat next to Aedan, staring at his former friend for a long time before taking a deep breath. “Aedan, what you did… _ah ah_ , please let me finish,” Alistair said, shushing any apologies or protests from the other man. “What you did hurt, a lot. I thought you’d betrayed me. I had no idea you were trying to get me to _man up_ , as it were. I guess I judged you a bit unfairly all those years ago as well, so I will accept your apology if you will accept mine.”

“Absolutely,” Aedan said with a tentative smile. “So, would you consider letting me stay on for a while? I really have nowhere and no one to get back to.”

Alistair thought about it for a moment. “Only if you help build an extra room. It’s already quite… _cozy_ …for just the two of us.”

Aedan smiled. “Gladly.”

***

The cure worked and Alistair was freed from the Darkspawn taint, and was able to live out the natural span of his life. Aedan remained with Alistair and Zevran and the three rekindled their friendship, and all three lived to a ripe old age.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't quite sure how to end this, but I hope that was satisfactory. Thanks to all for reading, giving kudos and comments. I appreciate all of it.
> 
> Also, yes I completely am ignoring Trespasser and what Solas may have in store for Thedas in the future. I didn't feel like speculating so I'm just going with "the world won't end".


End file.
